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2006-03-08 22:05:41 (UTC)

"I'm Sorry!" March 8th, 2006

Looks like I'm a bitch. Yay me....ha.....I suck! Everyone
needs to leave my boyfriend and me alone. Everyone needs
to stay out of our lives for a while. I mean EVERYONE. All
we have been doing is arguing (I'm a bitch). I know what
I've done has been wrong before, but I don't mean to argue
or hurt him so much. I never meant to hurt him. But damn,
everyone else, they DON'T care. I've never heard them say
sorry for stressing us out, sorry for trashing our house,
sorry for costing us money, sorry for not giving us alone
time, sorry for being the asses they have been. I know if
anyone reads this, they'll hate me. But that's okay. It's
not everyone that comes to our house...just 99.9% of them.
And I'm sorry I can't make them stop stressing me out, and
I'm sorry I always take it out on Freedom. And I'm sorry I
am about to lose the most important thing in my life. I'm
such a fuck up. Always wondered why I cried at night
lately, but I figured it out. I can't take it. I can't
take arguing, being mean to someone I care about, mad that
I don't have the guts to tell everyone else off, that I
make us broke every chance I get, that I have to lie about
1/2 the things in my life to my family, I can't stand it.
I want us to be happy and get along, but I can't make him
happy. I dunno how to anymore. I'm scared. I'm sorry. I'm
done drinking for a very long time. I sick of hurting him,
I never knew I hurt him so bad for so long until about a
week ago. I suck.

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