kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2006-03-06 04:31:19 (UTC)

LOST!

How come when I need the help in the whole wide world, no
one is there for me? I just need the support and assurance
that everything is going tot be okay. I hate it lots.
It's like my mother is never-ending complaining about
someone who pisses her off. It's like I'm so upset that
she couldn't be the one to give me support and assurance
to go through all this. How come she could give the
support to my 'sister'?
Is it because she is without a father that she always take
extra time and effort comforting her and always pleases
her? I hate it. It's like I'm also without a father. A
father who always selfishly only thinks about himself and
nothing else.
They are supposed to be my parents and yet they don't
understand me. And because of that, I will inform them
what are the things that they don't understand... and yet
I got this from them. They did nothing in the end to
comfort me. I'm so upset.
I just needed that assurance and support that everything
is going to be fine. I try to tell myself this but still
it's not enough. I'm not strong enough to hear the voice
within me.
Everyone only knows how to tell their problems to me but
never care to help me in my problems. It's not even as
though I'm asking them to solve my problem. I just needed
someone to give me the assurance and support.
I couldn't take it any longer when everyone refuses to
heard what I got to say. They could only think of their
own feelings and nothing else.
The saddest thing is that even my parents are like this.
They don't even care about their childrens' problems and
always love to seek their children to solve their problems.
I really hate those feelings. It's always us keep giving
and never receiving in the end. It's true that they are
the ones who let us survive till now but that doesn't give
them the right to do anything or everything to us.
I hate it lots. I hate it lots. I'm losing faith in myself
as time goes by. At first, sad and afraid to say that I
lost faith in my religion. And then, lost faith in the
people around me. And now, finally the time has come where
I lost faith in myself.
Where am I supposed to go now? How am I suppose to carry
on with life now? I'm scared and afraid to move on. I'm
super scared to find out that there's no one there with
me. I'm so lonely in that dark alley. No one cares to find
out that I was no longer there.
I'm so afraid. And I super hate myself.




Ad: