stonedbutterfly

Stoned Out Butterfly
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2006-03-06 00:19:03 (UTC)

Why I Can't Make Friends My Own Age

When I was little, I couldn't really have people over
because of my grandma being sick. I never held it against
her for being sick, it wasn't her fault and she was so
nice to me I really couldn't not like her. I wasn't
allowed to have friends over like everyone else I knew,
could. I could however, be friends with my grandparent's
friends. I use to sit at the table, and pretend to play
cards with them. I use to go to this trailor park/ RV park
with my grandpa, and be around much, much older people a
lot. I hardly ever saw anyone my own age, except for in
school. I was always being told how good I was, and sweet,
and nice, and mature for my age I was by other adults and
teachers. I wasn't ever trying to impress anyone, thats
litterally just how I grew up. I always wanted to be like
my older adult friends and my cousins who were 10 years
older than me, I couldn't help but act mature like they
were, thats the environment I grew up around.

Unlike my friends my own age, my adult friends never
left me, and I still see them whenever they come down from
up north. Until they die, they won't leave me, unlike
pretty much all of you do. I don't care what you say, I
know for a fact your goign to leave me soon.

I think thats what got me into trouble with kids my own
age. I expected them all to act like I was, all mature and
polite, but they didn't and that really annoyed me. All
the kids around me were really immature, and did things I
didn't like, thats why I always tryed to hangout with kids
older than me. Usually, my friends are at least 5 years
older than me, I can't help it, its just what I am use to.
They aren't all annoying, and are pretty mellowed out, and
aren't immature to the point they are acting, well like
people my age. Nobody my age is really intrested in thing
I'm intrested in, and I can't get along with people who I
have nothing in common with.

I prolly identifyed with my cousins better when I was
growing up. They weren't older than me like my older
friends were, but they acting the level I was acting on,
why I got along with them really well. I have always liked
things from the '80's, because thats what was at my aunt's
house, and I was there a lot. Once in 1st grade, I brought
in a bunch of those trolls, with the crazy hair, because I
really liked them a lot and still do. Well show and tell
time comes along, I would think everyone would know what
they are because my cousin talks about them so much, but
do they? No, nobody knows what they are accept for my
teacher, who shows a teacher-like intrest in them. That
kind of hurt.

Like I said before, I couldn't really see any kids my
own age, outside of school because of my grandma. I never
really played with kids my own age outside of school until
I was around 8 years old. Inless you have taken ECE or
some class like that, you would know the first 6 years of
a kid's life are some of the most important. My childhood
sucked! I was hardly ever around kids my own age, only
adults, and I lost a lot of important people in my life at
that time, its only normal for me to know that anyone I
get close to, I will loose in the near future, and I don't
think anyone can change my way of thinking on that, and to
be honest... prolly better that way.


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