blkdragon

grounded
2006-03-04 05:35:36 (UTC)

Daze gone by

3/1/06 On time this morning, didn’t get to bed until 1am
last night, went to work in the bindery and Kenny came for
me; we had a job that would take all day. Everything was
good until Kenny began standing around to watch me work, I
turned music on and tried to ignore him, I thought; “I need
to get out of this pit”. I’ve already been here a month
longer than my original plan, it’s boring me to tears.
I was supposed to check out an apartment in Schenectady
today, called to cancel, Charles was supposed to come by;
come to find that he wanted me to pick him up. He called me
early this morning to ask me questions he already knew the
answers to, starting our day wrong off the bat, I was
answering the call of Nature at the time. If you know that
I get home by 4 everyday, give me a minute to rest and come
by when you like. He called me as soon as he woke up,
9:45am, we concluded that he had the answers to the
questions and that he needed to check the time before
calling me on a weekday.
So he calls after work, “can you come get Me”, I told him
that I’d have to drive beyond my home for that and he could
have left early enough to get to my place by the time I
arrived. I wasn’t the least bit happy to hear how selfish
and lazy he’s chosen to be, that’s all I hear when we
talk, “can I have, will you do this for me”; I asked him
why he couldn’t give me a break for once and said goodbye.
Guess I’m not important enough for him to walk to my
apartment, he walks to his boyz place though, here it is;
5:20pm and I’m sure he won’t be coming here. I’m not
important enough for him to be uncomfortable for a few
minutes, oh well! Suffice to say that my day didn’t end
well and the last thing I needed was for someone to ask
something of me that they didn’t need, in comes Charles,
maybe he should stop taking advantage of my generosity;
stop using me because I’m his Father.
I won’t be answering any calls from him and he’ll be
calling, his birthday is this month and he’ll want
something from me, my birthday is never important to him;
why should that mean anything? The only time Charles thinks
of me is when he wants something, that hurts. Kathy
reminded me ( when we spoke last) that Charles is a lot
like her, she’s right, neither of them can keep a job and
it’s never their fault when they get terminated.
If I asked Charles what (if ever) he’s done for me(or
anyone else), he’d be hard pressed to come up with an
answer, how fucked up is that? His Uncle Bilal has paid for
every visit to his home, his Brother is paying for his trip
to Florida, his Mother has paid for all but one of his cell
phones and I got stuck with the bill on the first one for
two years.
I told Jason that I’m usually up late, he decided to test
me and he called at midnight, just hung up the phone;
talking to him got me to stop thinking of my errant Son.
Both my Sons are proving to be quite selfish, I put money
into Joshua’s account to keep it from overdrawing, I’ve yet
to see that money; oh they’re making me so tired. I was
able to get some new music though, two extraordinary
producers, Christophe Goze and Carmen Rizzo and I’d been
working on recapturing some music that got corrupted; the
new mp3 is working like a charm.
I haven’t shaved my face, it’s covered with gray hair,
decided to show it off; since I earned every one of them. I
don’t want anyone to confuse me and I’m by no means ashamed
of my gray hair, it’s a badge of honor to still be alive
and in the shape I’m in. I’ve been thinking of Darlene’s
Son Tyler, I’ll try getting closer to him, don’t think
there’s a prominent male in his life and that’s not good.
3/2/06 Woke this morning to no water, got to work late. I
called the Water Department, they told me that the pipes
had to be frozen, I thought the management company might
have had the water turned off, the rep told me that
wouldn’t happen without Code Enforcement making the ruling.
Had a brief problem with Jack, I’d stopped to speak to
Lavon and he didn’t like it, yet guys can walk around doing
NASCAR pools and not be bothered. I asked John about a
Salamander, a space heater used by football teams, I was
able to bring one home; I knew the pipes were frozen adn
hoped they hadn't broken. I called Guy to inform him, he
told me that he thought I should be planning to move, he’s
expecting his properties to go into foreclosure. He didn’t
sound too good, I told him that I’d take care of what I
could and I’d be talking to him soon. I put the Salamander
in my trunk and came home, as soon as I took it out of the
trunk and set it up, I heard water running under the
building. It’s freezing in the basement apartment, the heat
should never have been completely turned off. I called the
Water Department to have them turn the water off to the
building, they came and tried to find the meter, we found
the broken pipe in the basement apartment and they turned
the water off; they asked if I wanted them to turn the
water off to the building and I said no. I told them that
I’d contact the owner and get back to them. I could run the
Salamander in the apartment tomorrow, try to fix the broken
pipe and let water run to keep them from freezing, there’s
no way to get heat in there now; Guy won’t authorize it. I
don’t blame Guy for not spending any more money on this
building, since it’ll be in foreclosure, that would be
throwing money away that he could be using for his Family.
I called his phone and left v/m, telling him not to worry
about me, I always land on my feet and I wanted him to take
care of himself. After the Water Department turned the
water off downstairs, I returned to my apartment, I had the
faucet in the kitchen sink open and there was water
running. I went to the bathroom and found that the water
was ok now, this means that I don’t have to move and I can
bank whatever isn’t used on bills for the next however long
it takes the bank to get to me.
Joshua just called and asked if I named him after a pet
duck he thought I had, his Uncle told him that shit and he
believed it, I told him that I never had a pet duck and I
could hear my Brother “rollin” in the background.
3/3/06 Just got off the phone with Louisa’s Mother, she
gave me updates on Lenny’s condition and what’s what. I’d
spoken to Lenny first, called his cell, he sounds very good
and he’s planning to transfer the Section 8 to the City. I
found out that he’s now on Dialysis and the Meningitis he
suffered (2years ago) has affected his heart, but his
Grandmother is on top of the situation. Louisa’s Mother
told me that she thought of me this morning and every time
she thinks of me, I call.
Got a call from Donny this morning, telling me that my
Nephew is in jail, apparently Donna called him at 6am; the
police called her at 2am. Donny was still trying to blame
Donna for the current state of affairs, where their Family
is concerned, accepting none of the responsibility; I
wasn’t having that. I was on the phone with him while
driving to work, I was on the phone with him when I got to
work, he only wanted to make the same accusations he’s been
making since before the divorce; I was tired of hearing all
that and told him that I was at work and would talk to him
during my lunch. I told him to call me or I’d call him, I
called my Sister Fret instead.
Kenny hadn’t arrived on time this morning, he found me in
the bindery working on a job that Kishor fucked up. We’d be
on press for the day, the company is finally beginning to
crack down on the unnecessary overtime to the highly paid,
Kenny was the first to begin bitchin; he made 60grand last
year and this year will be different. I went in to get a
rule out for the last form we were running, Kenny got on
the phone to call Lisha, I got tired of waiting for him and
went to sit on the table next to him, I was waiting to tell
him what was wrong with the form; Jack was on his way
towards me and I got up to go back to the press. Jack saw
Kenny on the phone and never said one word to him, he asked
me if we were set up for the job we were running and I told
him yes, that I had things to point out to Kenny about the
rule up; Jack continued to his office.
Had that been me on the phone, things would’ve gone
differently, Jack would’ve told me that he wasn’t paying me
to use the phone. The double standards here are sickening.
We finished the job by 2:40, I went to Jack and told him
that I wanted to leave, needed to go downtown to answer the
summons; he surprised me by allowing it and I’ll have to
fill out a slip to use my personal time.
Searching for music and recapturing some of the best stuff
I’ve ever heard, my last mp3 corrupted those files, now I’m
in Nirvana. Can’t say enough about Christophe Goze and
Carmen Rizzo, suffice to say, I’ll be skating on Sunday;
I’d also planned to attend church. I’ll bring the workbook
and find out what the Pastor wanted to talk to me about, of
course change may be inevitable and I may bypass the church
again, or I’ll bring the workbook and leave it in the
mailbox.
I went to get Pharaoh’s meal, Charles called me, only
because his Mother told him I called; she was sitting on
the side to gauge what I was saying by Charles’ response. I
told Charles that he’s one of the most selfish people I’ve
ever known, besides his Mother. I asked if he walked to his
friend’s apartments, he said he did, I asked why he
couldn’t walk to mine? I asked why I had to come get him
when he wanted something from me, why I only heard from him
when he wanted something? I told him that he needs to stop
being everyone’s dependent, he told me that he kept money
and that he didn’t have to do anything illegal to get it,
being very vague in his description. I asked if he worked
for the money or did someone give it to him, if someone
gave it to him he was still dependent upon others he
remained vague in his answers. I told him that I get tired
of talking to him and realizing how selfish and lazy he is.
I mentioned his Mother telling me some of the things he’s
said to her about me, how I didn’t help carry his things
from Eva’s house, he only had two bags and a bin. I asked
what he’d done all that day, besides wait for me to come
for him? I asked why I needed to carry any of his things
when I’d worked all day, why he wasn’t grateful that I took
him to and from Eva’s? I told Charles that he didn’t care
about me or my feelings, after asking all the questions, I
got tired and saddened by the truth, I told Charles I’d
talk to him later and hung up. It’ll be a while before I
call back there, often I want to just touch him, hold him
to me; it’s like holding someone that I barely know and
hardly trust.




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