It just doesn't pay to be an Asshole
there i am working on a new jersey consolidated amendment
when all of a sudden i am awaken from my work-a-holic trance
by a serenade of car horns. usually this doesn't really
phaze me but as it had been somewhat prolonged i decided to
take a much needed break and see what was the matter.
turns out there was a man in a subaru outback trying to back
into his parallel parking spot. now it is customary to let
people in the road pass you before you back in at them, but
not this cowboy. he kicked it back and i gasped (really i
gasped) as he almost hit what appeared to be his second
disbelieving road-sharer (the first had honked madly).
anyhow, he finally managed to wedge himself into his space.
he stepped out of the car and he looked like a douche bag.
he didn't seem like your usual hot-headed dude. he was kind
of stooped over, of average height, greying hair clinging to
a balding head. a dumpy physique all around.
well he stepped out of his car and went to his meter.
correction, the WRONG meter.
now i should mention that other than myself, there were
three other poeple watching this incident. the meter maid,
and two employees of the vet across from me.
the meter maid and employees had all calmly watched the
entire assholish incident (one employee was even eating an
orange). so with me, they watched the guy get out of his
car, and in a huff, go to feed the wrong meter.
the four of us then watched him march off towards the local
the meter maid then quietly sauntered up to the CORRECT
meter and made a big point of looking at it. i watched the
employees of the vet laugh and kind of chuckled myself. he
then promptly wrote the man a ticket.
well no more than 5 minutes passed as the guy ambled back.
now....i don't think you can adequately appreciate the range
of human emotions that all of a sudden spilt forth from this
man (mostly at the meter maid who was still standing there,
looking very content).
anyhow, the guy came back and saw the ticket. now i'm on
the second story and i could see his eyes just bug out of
his skull. secondly, i am half deaf, had a sheet of glass,
and about 100 yards between me and this guy, and i could
STILL hear him yell at the meter maid.
he was livid. absolutely livid. now of course i know not
what he said, but let me just......hypothesize.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!! YOU SAW ME PUT MONEY IN THE WRONG METER
AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!!"
"THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS, I WILL REPORT YOU, AND I WILL
CONTEST THIS TICKET!!!!!"
::silence:: with a smile wayyyyyyyyyyyy too big.
now this i did hear/see:
"FUCK YOU" with this he pointed at the meter maid.
"I PAID" with this he pointed at the wrong meter.
"FUCK YOU" with this he peeled out and almost caused another
now. what if he hadn't been an asshole in the first place?
almost hitting two cars on his way to parking? would it
have been different? i don't know. but you know what? it
may have upped his chances.
either way, it was a very entertaining day.