anazguy

A day in the life
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2006-02-25 08:30:33 (UTC)

An open letter to my lover

My sweet,

John Dryden is right, every little absence is an age. I
ache every minute you are not with me.

In the very short time I've known you, I've gained one
hundred years worth of wisdom.

I used to have it all figured out. I used to know what
love was. It was clear to me that love was a trick, smoke
and mirrors or a chemical reaction. My life and the love I
knew could be reasoned with, rationalized and shelved for
any reason.

Oh babe, I was so wrong. This is all your fault and now I
am more scared than ever. I cant love you. I cant love you
because the word "love" as I've always used it, is far too
feeble to express what I feel for you.

Thank you. Thank you for showing me the greatest gift I
could imagine. Thank you for proving my father right and
thank you for loving me.

I am new at this, so please forgive me if I make mistakes.
I will never intentionally hurt you. I promise to not lie
to you - but more than that; I promise to be frank and
truthful. I know you will be with me.

I wont deny you anything on principle, your needs are now
my needs. I may not be able to get you all the material
things you want, but you'll never be alone and you'll
never be cold.

I need you to love me the way you know how, completely,
singularly (excepting a certain young girl and a kitty
cat). I need you to be straight with me and true to me. I
need you to understand I'm just a stuipd boy, I'm going to
fuck up. Sometimes I'll be selfish, lazy or blah. I need
you to teach me, be accepting of my mistakes and forgive
me because my intentions with you will always be pure.

Some men might describe their lovers as a diamond but in
reality diamonds are not rare nor precious. They are a
commodity that a market prices at a wholesale level. You,
my love, are a vintage, leather bound Shakespearean
manuscript. Irreplaceable, with value immesurable and
admired by all.

You said tonight that you wished you had a crystal ball.
While I cant say what will happen at your home tomorrow, I
can say that I will love you in our home forever.

A person does do the best they can at the time, like you
said, but you aren't the best I could do now, you are the
best I could ever hope for. I am yours, do with me as you
wish. Be mine, just let me love you, completely and with
the passion that we have today, eternally.

-Me


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