AHHHH CWAP. He just asked me if I like him.. HOw am I
supposed to answer that.
I respect him, to me he is a symbol of things I want to be
and can't be at the moment.. The talented musician,
extremely smart, and gets very good grades, gets along with
the teachers, ect.... Not to mention always smiling.
I have always tried to be like that... Not so much the
"Kenny" or a girl i used to know named kristin.. But to be
one of those people that can move through life doing so well
in everything.. The ones that people always look up 2.. But
no matter how hard I try I can never get there.
Jonny on the other hand is always smiling, tis true, he gets
way better grades then me.. And doesn't even try. Instead
of pushing me to get the sonata perfect he encourages me to
be lazy and to enjoy life...
Lately I have found myself working harder.
So here is Kenny asking me if I like him... And I don't know
how to answer.. '
GRRR being a teenager frusterates me.. I shouldn't be
writing any of this because if Miss Eleesa reads any of
this.. That goes against the pact that Breanna and I made..
It puts her in an unfair disposition.
I guess that is my answer.. I look up to him, I admire him.
I love him in some respects, but I can't romantically. I
wouldnt' want to hurt Breanna. I have Jonny, thinking like
this is far to dangerous. I don't want to hurt Jonny either.
I was almost ready to say I can't do relationships.. I am
not ready.. BUT I AM IN ONE. And I am not ready for that
either... but I am going to deal with that, one day at a
time.. It isn't like it is any harm tome.. I just have...
OHHHH DARN IT.
I am tired of this all..