Lun'esprit

Confessions of a dangerous mind
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2006-02-07 14:50:41 (UTC)

It's been nearly I year since I last wrote

Last time I wrote was last year in April, and so much has
happened.

I've argued with mum alot more
My baby sister was born in November
My granddad died
I decided to give Jake another chance, what a fool I was.
It didn't last long at all, although now he's certain he
loves me still.
I went to Spain in July for three weeks, it was awful,
Grandma seems to have lost her mind since Grandad died and
it's still on going.
I've decided to not go to uni, at least not right now.
That's caused alot of arguements with mum, she expects me
to know what i'm doing with my life, and I don't know yet,
I just have no idea and it scares the hell out of me, yet
she offers me no sympathy when I try to talk it out with
her.
I've been seeing an amazing guy for the past 4 months
(tomorrow), called Gareth, I spoke of teenagery love in my
last entries, I even said I loved Jake, but I didn't. This
though, this is amazing, I have never felt so healthy, so
happy so loved with anyone, there's no pain here, and i've
seen him everyday since we started seeing eachother, and
it's weird, i've learnt so much about him and so much about
myself.
I felt secure enough, and so much in love that I slept with
him about 3 weeks ago, first time. It didn't hurt, infact
it was a whole new and amazing experience, which just seems
to get better and better each time.
I left the cinema, after grandad died I took a bit of time
off, only to go back to virtually no hours, even when I
asked for more, i'd also been ill so overall I missed
about a month, it was there way of punishing me, i'd seen
them do it with other people. So I got a new job at Subway
which was also an amazing experience (although not quite
like the sex-experience) which lasted 3 months, mum argued
with me about that too, said it wasn't a proper job and I
was throwing my life away, so i'm working for her now,
although looking for a better job.

I'm going to be 18 in 10 days, and we're going to
Manchester to watch footloose the musical, followed by a
meal, followed by a crazy night out, followed by hotel...
I'm looking forward to the hotel bit ;)


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