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2006-02-05 02:45:20 (UTC)


sunday. sun-day. sabbatical. lord's day. i don't know how
long it has been since the last time i went to a christian
church on sunday. i don't know if i miss the feeling.
probably because for the past few years i have not enjoyed
going to church. in fact to think about it, i have always
been rather alone when i go to church. the time when i
really felt like i'm growing in the Lord is when i was in
IPEKA. when we prayed before and after school, when we had
quiet time reading the Lord's words before we started our
lesson every morning and when we had a service on wednesday
every week (if i remember correctly). those times feel like
ages ago. yet, i couldn't have missed them more.

i feel so grateful to ever study in that school. precious
memories. i met people i really treasured and loved. when
life was simple, when hearts were pure. it was the most
enjoyable time in my life. even as i look back the memory
lane, every atoms of my body will agree that the times in
IPEKA are the best times of my life.

i don't know why i am feeling rather nostalgic now. i know
those times will never ever been revived anymore. some
people say you can never go home or return to a place once
loved, or recapture a friendship left behind. Time, life,
circumstances and fate all have their way of changing who we
are and altering beyond recognition memories or feelings
until they finally seem like a part of a dream or an
illusion. the times in IPEKA seem like a part of a sweet
dream now. just that it is not. the people and place are
real. we were there. few years ago when i went back to that
school during holiday, as i walk on the corridor, i could
feel the past in my blood. i could feel it. the laughter,
the vibrance, the love. as i sat in the empty classroom
where i used to be, i teared. i could picture the christmas
decoration in that classroom, remember the people who were
there, the fun we had.

letting go of the past is a skill i have learnt over the
years. yet sometimes my heart is unwilling to let something
so beautiful become an obsolete remains of the day.

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