blkdragon

grounded
2006-01-31 05:44:02 (UTC)

Sheep don't eat red meat, I do

1/30/06 Foggy this morning, love the fog. Work went well.
Kenny told me that he’s thinking about putting Lisha out,
said he got a hand job from some woman and didn’t get home
until 4am. He told me that this woman is much more
compatible with him, he was hung over this morning and
looked like shit. I passed Lisa today, when she saw me, a
look came over her face that suggested she didn’t want to
see me; I said hello and kept walking. I called Randy to me
today, told him I knew of the things he’d been saying to
Betty that she disapproved of, spoke to him man to man;
told him that he needed to give that shit a rest. Randy
told me that he didn’t know what I was talking about, I
thought, ok! When I left for the day, Betty yelled to me to
wait for her, she came and told me that Randy apologized to
her; even though he didn’t seem to know what he was
apologizing for. She thanked me, she knew that the only
reason he went to her was because I talked to him, I was
happy to do so.
I was tired all day, think I’m supposed to do a parenting
class tonight, I’ll have to call Cheetah and ask; she’s
supposed to attend. Lavon and I laughed all day about
Cheetah, he loves to play the Devil’s advocate, he’s asking
what happened to me; nothing happened! I took a fork in the
road, I’m exploring possibilities and experiences, I’m
sharing my time with a new friend and something that
happens to be important to her. At best, I learn something
about her, something about myself and something about this
ministry. My belief and my faith are certainly not defined
by anyone else’s vision, basically I’m expanding my
options, getting closer to Cheetah’s world; getting to know
her more. I just called her about this parenting class, she
answered the phone excitedly, when she knew it was me; that
made me smile. She’ll call the woman in charge and get back
to me. The class is next week, she was on her way out of
the house to get a bowl for the Beta I’d given to her
Daughter, McKayla was in the background telling me how much
she enjoys the fish; thanking me. I told her that she was
very welcome, Cheetah asked if I was going to attend the
Wednesday service, I told her no; once a week is enough for
me. Church is the Pastor’s job, I don’t feel a need to be
involved in everything they’ve got going on.
Seems Cheetah wants to surround herself with devout
Christians, that’s ok, I’m not one of them; she expects God
to send the man she’s to spend her life with. I’m of the
same opinion, the right woman will appear to me, I won’t
search for her. I am devoted to life, not Christianity, nor
am I devoted to Islam; I have faith, but my devotion is to
humanity. I am not sheep and I don’t need a shepherd, I am
a Son of God and the only thing I need is my Father/Mother.
When night is upon us, I may go Wolf, violence is part of
my being; whether I give in to it or not. I will not go
quietly into the night, I will howl til my last breath. I
believe in peace and love, but at any given time I will
bring the noise.
I’d just gotten off the phone with my Sister Fret, we were
just shooting the breeze, she was telling me of her current
physical ailments. I got a call from Shawn today, he wanted
to know if I’d consolidated my bills in the past, he wanted
to do that; I told him that I’d seen a financial advisor.
We didn’t talk about anything we should’ve talked about,
he’s had surgery on his shoulder and hasn’t returned to
work, he’s called Toya and told her that he thinks about
them getting back together; she’d be a fool if she fell for
that.
So we’re back to the union bullshit, they’re trying to vote
it out of the shop, rumor has it that everything will go
back to the way it was; wage rates that is. I don’t trust
the shop or the union, neither have my best interests at
heart.
By the way Lynne, my eyes are open, I see the flags and I
know fanatacism when I see it. I'm still exploring, needed
to get in the mix for that, you know me; thank you for the
love.




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