Life - so complicated
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2006-01-30 14:04:49 (UTC)

She's back

So last night she tells me that she can't get over
me. "I'm moving on but I'll never forget you... and I'll
never get over you" is what she said. After being in a
great relationship for nearly 4 months now, she was the
only thing that could jeopardise it. My head is messed up
I don't know what to think or how to feel.
The conversation I had with her last night was something
that I keep dreaming about - not day dreaming but
literally dreaming about because she's been in my mind a
lot lately. People have been saying nasty things about me
and Louise at college, she actually believed the rumours
she said "You're a lot different from what I've heard"
It's people who don't even know who have been saying it...
I hate that college it's been the worst year and a half of
my life.
I found things of hers the other day and I didn't know
what to do with them maybe I should give her them? or
should I just post them? She seems to have changed an
awful lot, she seems more melancholy and sad than she used
to be.. it seems that the only good thing in her life is
her friends which is a great thing, 80% of my mates are
male therefore my friendships are all one sided, I'm
giving and they're taking but what else should I expect? I
love them anyway but at least she has them friends that
are there for you no matter what.
She said she still wants to be there for me but she's
been too scared to tell me that because of all the stuff
she's heard about me. People really need to stop being so
judgemental and gossiping about others it doesn't do
anyone any good.
Now though I don't know what to do, do I need to do
anything? If I have her back in my life, only distantly it
could still mess me up however the only way I could find
out is if I try it for a while. Back in the summer I was
still fragile, I wasn't ready but it's been a long time,
I've grown up, my ideas have changed maybe it's now time
to let the past go...