Jonathan

Random (boring) Thoughts
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2006-01-20 21:11:32 (UTC)

Indians

To the members of the Navajo nation,

We, as officials of the government of the United States of
America, are well aware of the horrible events which have
transpired between our two peoples. We fully admit to
killing your warriors, raping your women, stealing your
land, and cramming your children onto reservations.

And we feel just awful about it.

After numerous debate on a course of action to rectify
this injustice, we have come to a decision on how best to
make it up to you. Unfortunately, we can't bring back the
dead, and we're sure as hell not giving Texas back,
but we have figured out a solution that we feel is equally
as appropriate.

So, as repayment for the crimes against your people, we
have decided to issue a new two cent stamp.

Unlike other two cent stamps, this stamp is a tribute to
the Navajo people. The stamp is printed on paper made from
the trees of your old land. The photograph on the front is
of the very same necklace that we gave to you in exchange
for what is now the western half of our Great Nation.

In an additional act of kindness, each self-sticking stamp
has been premoistened with the authentic tears of your
people.

We hope that you find this stamp to your satisfaction.
Again, we feel terrible about your suffering.

Sincerely,

The United States Postal Service


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