Life is a journey...
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a new year...
So, I started this ages ago...but I kept deleting what I
wrote. I guess, I didn't know what I wanted to say. Sounds
So this year is more of a new start than ever for
me. Just after Christmas, I broke up with my boyfriend of
3 years...well, would have been 3 years on 25th February.
I feel good now. Like I'm fresh and ready for me.
Just me time...and other guys time!
I broke up with him because I felt I wanted to
spend time with myself and focus just on what I want. I've
not been able to do that in a long time.
Also, I havent been seeing him much because weve
gone to different colleges (a breath of fresh air to tell
Another reason is that 3 years is a freaking long
time! If Im being honest, Id say that I got too serious
too young. Way too young, we got together when we were 14.
What did I think would happen, that wed live together
forever happily and just get married?!?! PLEASE! Never
being with anyone else??? Never sleeping with anyone else?
I once thought that sex didnt matter and that I wouldnt
want to be with anyone else but come on, its just not
So, those are just some reasons anyway, now Im
single, Im feeling strangely rebellious!! Was even
thinking of getting a tattoo!!! Crazy I know, maybe I
should just get something pierced instead I kind of like
the idea of getting a fancy, swirly F on my wrist, or my
hip (but that seems a bit unoriginal).
now Im single, Ive got very into the idea of
other guys Oh Yessssss!!!!
I actually kind of like someone and Im really
not looking for a relationship. Ohhh noooo!!!! Not at all,
come on, Ive been in one practically all my life. No,
what Im looking for are relations! The kind of relations
I want are with this guy I like, and its already kind of
started. When I say kind of, I mean we actually nearly had
sex. But its too soon for all that. I mean, Ive known
him for ages and were good friends, but it just felt too
soon. Plus, theres nothing wrong with keeping them
waiting now is there girls?! It just makes them want it
more I hope!
Any guys got advice on this, much appreciated!
So what I like about this guy
hes quite a bit
bigger than me, as in hes properly built like a man, not
what Ive had in the past. The ex was nice, but not as
manly, if you get me. And other ex, played rugby, which is
always a bonus, but he still wasnt quite the extent of
Anyway, he was all picking me up and throwing me
down, just generally throwing me around. But in a nice,
caring way. I liked A LOT! It made me feel like I was
fragile (girls youll know what Im talking about) and
small, which overall makes you feel great about yourself.
Plus, he can drive, and has a car also makes you
feel special like hes looking after you when he offers to
pick you up, take you home and so on not only that, but
let me assure you getting off in the back seat always a
bonus its so hot! Anyone else know what I mean?!
Deffo think Ive got my sex drive back, was
starting to think it had died! When in truth, I was
subconsciously ready to be single but just didnt realise
I think part of the reason why we didnt have sex
is that Im a bit worried that hell just sleep with me
and then nothing else will happen, and I really dont want
that because I not only like him, but I love him as a
friend, and I dont want that to end. I really dont want
him to just forget about everything just because weve
finally had sex.
I know I dont want a relationship, but I want it
to be special, for him too. I want him to feel like it
means something more than just sex. Hopefully it already
does mean more to him. Well see though I guess
p.s. Hopefully, Ill be driving pretty soon, I just need a