Jack's Twisted Kingdom
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2006-01-15 19:44:30 (UTC)

actually, practically, factually

particularly smooth..

it is of serious doubt that when the
last of the fervor encompasing my desire
for a true accounting of frivolity finally
lands at ground zero that I shall be of
sound mind to properly appreciate it...

if nothing else, methinks I will be loathe
to admit anything other than the abominable
precurser's that engorged my mind into such
actions in the first place...

I'm bored. and, yet, I'm rather busy with
nothing at all, and everything. One can only
wonder what it is that will occur in the next
few short months...

It looks like july shall be my go month, and
go I will.. I need to find a place to crash in
Vanc, and I'm sure I'll find one eventually,
with the small exception that I can't stand
most of cousins, I would see if I could stay
with one of them, but due to my mothers oh so
liberal dashes of "tim did that, tim did this"
I'm afraid any kind of crash space is nil..

if there's one thing I dislike is people talking
about me, especially my mother, because while I'm
sure she is of a mind to tell her sordid tales it
is with much detriment to me that I have any kind
of relationship with my cousins.. in fact, it's
unlikely, I ever will, and any I did have has long
since vaporized into the western winds..

everytime my mother suggests to someone of her
aquaintance, regarding me, and I have to eventually
speak to these people, I'm always finding myself
judged, and then looked at in a weird manner.. it's
fucking annoying.. I'm no saint, I know this, hell
everyone knows this, but when I try, for whatever
reason, I always seem to get kicked in the teeth
for any kind of olive branch i attempt to reach
out with, to whomever it is that I know and my
mother has had contact with...

and in fact, I am loathe to have much of anything
to do with my mother.. she wants me to go to
winnipeg in may, of which I have little desire to
return to that hell hole other than to see my cats.
sigh, I do miss my cat's rather immeasurablly..

well.. sigh.. I won't let much get in my way..

but I am leaving here.. sooner or later..