Cowgirl_Mom

Oh, Happy New Year!

I just realized (not really) that I haven't done this in
awhile. Well, honestly, I have wanted to, but didn't want
to fight with the PC or my sons or my husband to do it.
Today was a perfect opportunity that presented itself. I
have sent my sons with my Mom for a little while, my
husband's at work, I've been cleaning house all morning,
and now I have laundry running and I can sit down, drink a
beer, and write a bit.
I hope not to be too long-winded, as if it matters.
I have gotten through this holiday season with the help of
drugs. I went on them about 6 weeks ago. It's definitely
made a difference, I'm not as angry as I used to be, or
crying at the drop of a hat. A commercial could come on,
or something be said, and I'd start to cry. It has been
better. But now it seems to be getting hard again. I
want to cry for my Dad. I miss him so much and I don't
know what to do without him. I don't see how my Mom does
it.
We are finishing up with the mess in Waco with my Dad's
childhood home, we loaded up most of the furniture Tuesday
and brought it home. We're going back up in a couple of
weeks to hopefully finish it up.
This weekend all four of my grandparents' (on my Mom's
side) will be in town, so they are scheduled to meet to
discuss what to do about Grandma and Grandpa. Do we put
both of them in a home because of Grandma's Alzheimers?
Or do we just place Grandma? And then what about Grandpa
if Grandma goes first? Does he go back to the house? Or
do we hire someone to come into the house to care for
them? Tough decisions, but they have to be made.
Something positive, my husband and I have been a lot
better lately. We seem to relate to each other better.
We went out of town the weekend before Christmas, just the
two of us, to a very swanky resort, for a Christmas party
for his job. It was nice to hear other people tell him
how lucky he was and he tells them, I know I am. One of
his coworkers was really funny when he told me that if
anything ever happened to me or I left him, that Don would
be absolutely lost without me.
This year for Christmas I was focusing on providing for
our sons and for my Mom, and I didn't go all out for him
this year. I got him underwear (which he desparately
needed) and some candy. Mom stayed with us for Christmas
(her first without Dad), and I was trying to make it nice
for her, even doing things for her as Dad would have done
(filling her stocking, buying lottery tickets, etc). This
was what my husband encouraged. But he shocked me this
year, he actually went all out for me this year for
Christmas.
He bought me a gorgeous flat screen PC monitor, a brand
new top-of-the-line PC, with all of the bells and
whistles, where you can just put in your memory stick from
your digital camera, and it downloads them directly, a CD
and DVD burner, etc! And that is not all! He also bought
me a DVD/VCR combo player that also records DVDs. This
was completed with a starter pack of recordable DVDs. He
says that it was just the first year that we could afford
these kinds of things. Oh My God!!
Annnnnd, I've been put to task to find our next house
(I've scoped out the available floor plans), and find
possibilities for properties starting the first of the
year. He wants to be moved and settled by the first of
the school year. Holy shit, how things can change!
Anyway, gotta run, would like to sweep and mop the kitchen
today. Later!