muse

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2005-12-30 09:35:00 (UTC)

reflections

one more day left for 2005 and then a new year. here i am
back in my little corner of the world in singapore. alone
yet not so lonely i feel.

another year is going to end. time to reflect on the past
year. i am 22 now. middle through the early twenties. this
year my life is mostly concentrated on academic purposes.
nothing much in social life. i still keep in touch with old
friends although i can't really say that i have made any
significant new friends. get to see people from the past
again such as yeoh jo-ann, zoe and a bunch of IPEKA friends.

an old friend of mine, Christine got married on 17 dec. i
guess she is the first high school friend of mine that got
married, besides imel of course. i guess many, many others
will follow suit after this as next year most of my friends
would have graduated already. as for me, i am not sure of
the future.

this holiday has passed by peacefully, without any raging
emotion of sorts. i'm on my way to become a stable person.
one who could control her emotions. not quite there yet but
almost.

i am drifting further from my bestfriend (used to be one, at
least), katherine. she has turned into someone i hardly
know. i remember that day we were going back from TA, in the
cab and she did not talk to me at all, not mentioning
looking at the other direction all the time. at that moment,
somehow, i could feel that the string between us has been
cut. and i don't think it's cut by time, it is cut by either
one of us, if not both. she did not even tell me that she
has already found a boyfriend.

surprisingly, i don't feel heartbroken or sad anymore about
that. i understand if a friendship has to end. nothing in
this world last forever. but somehow, i really hope she
could be less phony.

met nicholas too. he has grown more mysterious over the
years. i hardly know him now. oh, well...

studies have been up and down. sem 2 was very good, sem 3
was very bad. yet, it's not the end of the world. as long as
life is still there for me, i can still fix it. and i think
that's the beauty of life. the myriad chances.

mom and dad. for the first time, i'm pleasantly surprised by
them. they have grown closer to each other over the year.
thank god for that. i hope this will last.

i'll continue soon...


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