Timothy

Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2005-12-29 12:03:58 (UTC)

Quiddity

as the new year approaches, there are certain things to
which I am dreading.. mostly those that have to do with
nothing other than my own apathy towards my own existance
and where I'm going, what I'm doing, and how I'll get to
where I want to get..

as much as I am lothe to admit, it's my own fault. I tend
to push people away with no more excuse than slight that
could even be said to have been imagined rather than an
insult of any real calibur.

I just don't trust people, and for the most part, I don't
like most people.. I have friends whom I like and would
like to hang out with but for the most part I don't
because it would take more effort than I am currently
willing to give. Of course, I'm being hypocritacal in
that regard.. but I have my own gelded cage and while I am
not content to remain in it, I am loathe to leave it..

I did find a new hobby, DJ'ing, I've been spending the
last few days with software and downloading another 60gigs
of music to my already impressive 40gigs, but which seems
to lack a certain amount of DJ-ness. I applied to several
online streamcasts and have gotten some good news in which
I can start in couple of weeks of being an online DJ, lol..
go figure, I'ves always been an audiophobe.. and now, I'm
going to have my own show, lol.. ironic really.. I don't
know what I'm doing, but I've got a format down that I
like, and most of the equipment, who knows, maybe I'll
turn this in a living.. maybe.. lol

later today.. I shall go out, and do things.. other than
spending my earstwhile time doing nothing other than
playing EVE or SoCom online..

indeed..