Kaden, MacKenzie and Easton

The life of a young mom of three
2005-12-29 04:53:33 (UTC)

Head full of Unanswered Questions!

I can't believe how much he is starting to move. I have
been feeling Kaden move alot more then normal I dont think
its a bad thing but normally he isnt a very active baby and
lately he has been going buckwild lol.I really cant wait
for him to be born. Me and my mom got into a fight the
other night and she kept telling me i was going to be a bad
mom. And I'm starting to think what if I am a bad mom? Me
and my mom dont have a good relationship at all and I wanna
be close to my son. I have so many questions it just seems
like they wont never be answer. My one friend who had a
baby at 16 told me that when she was pregnant with her
daughter she asked herself alot of questions and it seemed
like they was all answered when her daughter was born. I am
filling my head with so many questions...Like how am I
sapposed to support my child and finish school? What if I'm
not a good mom? I wanna give Kaden the best life i can. My
mom tells me almost everyday i should give Kaden up for
adoption. I was adopted and I know the blank feeling that
is there when ppl ask about your parents or your past. I
dont want my son to feel that But i do want him to have the
best life ever. I hope all these feelings of doubts go away
when I hear him cry for the first time and hold him in my
arms.Its an amazing feeling that you have with your child
before they are even born. I love my son and all i want for
him is the best. I just wish that sometimes i wouldnt have
this feeling of What have i done? Since I'm having these
doubts that make me a bad mom? I am starting to get scared
49 days to the count. I was asking Matt the other day if he
was scared about having a baby and he said no (considering
he already has twin boys) If he isnt scared why am I? I
dont know if anyone reads this and you think you have the
answers to any of my questions listed in this entry...I'll
be glad to hear what you think!...O and to all that have
posted back to me thank you I love reading your posts!