Date With Destiny
2005-12-25 22:24:52 (UTC)

Preparing for setbacks or difficult situations

Preparing for setbacks or difficult situations
From genecanuck on 2/25/2004 11:51:33 AM

Hi gang, This is a long post but worth reading. A
newsletter from Health Canada. Keep your quit.

Becoming assertive about the new you!
As you become a non-smoker your relationships may change.
We hope that everyone in your life is supportive, but we
also know that not everyone is that lucky. You may find
that the people who do not support your decision to become
a non-smoker threaten your success. In order to make sure
that you stick to your plan and reach your goal, you may
have to develop new skills in handling difficult

Here are some possible situations you may face in the
weeks to come. Choose the ones that seem as if they could
happen to you. Plan now how you would handle them and jot
down a few notes in your Journal. Practise your responses
in your head or out loud with a supportive friend who will
give you honest feedback on your style. Remember, being
assertive does not mean being aggressive. This may be the
style of conversation you are used to when a situation of
conflict arises, but now is as good a time as any to try
to change that.

For more information and to develop some new skills in
this area, take a course on self-esteem or assertiveness
(believing in yourself). These may be offered through
community programs. Or, go to the library and take out
books or tapes on being assertive.

In the meantime, think about what you will say or do if

* Gets angry or upset with you.
* Accuses you of changing and being different.
* Tries to convince you that there is no hard evidence
that smoking is bad, and gives examples of smokers who
have never been sick.
* Tells you that your relationship with them can't take
the stress of your quitting.
* Blames you for everyone else having to suffer because
you are in withdrawal and very grouchy.
* Criticizes you or starts an argument.
* Tells you that he or she wants the old you back.
* Refuses to support you in any way.
* Makes fun of you for eating or gaining weight because
you have stopped smoking.
* Offers you cigarettes as a way to solve problems.
* Refuses to make the house or car smoke-free.
* Tells you to have a few cigarettes to get rid of the
withdrawal - especially if you are in a bad mood.
* Continues to see you as a smoker and does not accept you
as a non-smoker.
* Leaves cigarettes and ashtrays lying around on purpose
to tempt you.
* Refuses to be patient with you if you are having
withdrawal symptoms.
* Makes you justify and defend yourself for quitting.
* Smokes in front of you and tells you how good it feels.
Whatever happens, don't give in by having a cigarette.
Sure, it isn't easy coping with conflict, but now that
you've worked so hard, don't let someone else spoil it for
you. Be true to yourself. You're worth it!