Date With Destiny
So...Is this your first Slip Party?
From troutnut1 on 7/14/2002 12:59:59 PM
So here ya are. A newbie out on the weekend... just mindin
your own business and trying to get by, one day at a time,
without taking that first puff of nicotine. It`s hard. No
doubt about that. And before you know it....you accidently
find yourself smack dab in the middle of a full blown
You`ll know the `Slip Party` by it`s symptoms. It starts
innocently enough. Usually it starts when someone here
violates the Three Post Rule. They smoke first, and then
share that sad fact with us instead of asking for help
first. For the Slip Party to really get off to a good
start, the relapser is almost required to minimize their
actions and fail to take responsibility for their actions.
There is ALWAYS a great reason. Stress. Relationships.
Work problems. Money woes. Children. Parents. Dogs. Cats.
People. Places. Things. The list is endless and you`ll
soon learn to spot the upcoming party just by the excuse
given and the replies received. And its always `just one`.
Then they threw the whole thing away. `Just one` they
plead...BUT they didn`t enjoy it, it made them SICK, they
DID learn their lesson, it tasted AWFUL, and they`ll
NEVER, ever do it again.
Whatever the reason was, the NicoDemon sees it, and takes
advantage of the crack in the door big enough to get his
foot in. And that`s enough of an edge that the demon
virtually always wins the battle. It may be an hour, a
day, or a week. But once that demon foot is in the door he
ALWAYS gets the rest of the demon in. Its like the
proverbial camel`s head under the tent.
But the victim doesn`t just take themselves out. They take
hostages. The next thing you know....newbies are dropping
like flies. Their heads are suddenly filled with the
`Maybes`. Maybe I`m not an addict after all? Maybe I can
take that first puff today and just get right back on the
quit tomorrow? Maybe nobody will know? Maybe I`m
different? Maybe I should start a separate group for
people more like me since I`m so different? Maybe I can
smoke because I`m pissed off about what was said here?
Maybe I`ll just smoke at this or that event, and then quit
again next weekend, next month, or next year. Maybe I
should have been on patches or gum? Maybe I should have
been more prepared? Maybe The patches or gum were the
problem and I shoulda gone cold turkey? Maybe I`ll just
smoke until this problem passes? Maybe, maybe,
maybe . . .? Woulda, coulda, shoulda?
Now the ole Montana Trounut just passed 500 days without
taking that first puff of nicotine. And what I have said
here will likely be unpopular in the current atmosphere.
And that`s OK. I can handle the heat without taking that
first puff. I`ve been around for a while and I`ve built up
my strength. And this ain`t a popularity contest. And
while there are many others here with far more time than I
have, I did learn a few things in my first 500 days here
that I want to, that I need to, share with you. And one of
those things is that Slip Parties can be dangerous to your
smobriety, especially if you are new or struggling. And
you should consider very carefully how you will handle
them when you find yourself in attendance. You should
carefully consider whether or not you wish to attend them
at all. Because the simple facts are that the vast
majority of good folks here quitting will fail and return
to their nicotine addictions at even higher levels than
they were before coming here. I don`t like that sad fact,
but it is a fact, and its one you should know about.
Because if you are a `majority rules` kinda person....and
you always `go along with the crowd`...you could be in
trouble in a game with such a statistically small margin
of victory. If you are counting the responses like votes
in a dimpled chad election, you could be headed for
trouble, because I can guarantee you the majority will be
wrong in this game.
But most of you who know me also know that I don`t believe
much in statistics...and especially not for individuals.
Our individual chances will always be either 0% or 100%.
Black or white. Right or wrong. Because there is no grey
area when it comes to quitting. You either IS, or you
AIN`T, and which one it is will always be dependent upon
one simple choice. And that choice is whether we choose to
take or avoid that first puff, one day at a time. There is
no such thing as a slip. You are either quit, or you have
Do not be discouraged. There is great hope...because the
solution is so simple, and it is completely within your
control. But you`ll need to search out the truth from the
more common misunderstandings and myths. You`ll need to
pay attention to who you`re gonna listen to. You`ll need
to be careful about who you hang with, at least for a
while. You`ll need to separate the wheat from the chaff.
And if you want to stay quit, maybe you`ll need to stick
with the WINNERS instead of going with the crowd when
these slip parties get going.
Quitting can be, and is being done every day here by
addicts just like me. And for over a year here I ran like
he!! when I saw the Slip Party forming because I knew I
felt I wasn`t strong enough to be in such slippery places.
My old friend Darby Jack, now deceased, had taught me long
ago that `if you hang out in the barbershop long enough,
sooner or later you`re GONNA get a haircut...!`.
So my advice is to make your plan now. You don`t have to
be swayed into taking that first puff no matter how many
other people you might see doing it. If you start feeling
squirrely here reading slip posts, excercise your right
not to open them at all, and to just stick with the
WINNERS. Go read some profiles. Qmail elders. Post your
own good questions.
Don`t take that first puff and it is impossible to fail.
Don`t take that first puff, just for today, and you`ll go
to bed as a WINNER tonight!
Your friend in Montana
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