thecommonthread

The Common Thread
2005-12-19 06:25:03 (UTC)

starter.

lost and found and lost again.

today felt like it encompassed a week. we were so many different places, it
should have. but it was good, don't get me wrong. i could never go wrong
with you around.

on the other hand, this month seems like it has happened in a day's time.
too many fluctuations in our status, only to be right back where we started.
only worse. things will always get worse when you meddle in immaturity. i
think that i've finally lost you. both.

i am overwhelmed. i don't really know how i feel about the trip. nervous.
anxious. excited.

overwhelmed?

it will be so good to see your face again. but it will be so hard to stay away
for so long. things will continue down the path they are currently taking, only
it will get progressively worse without me here in my defense. i don't like the
way i feel when i'm here, and i won't like it even more when i'm away. we will
see who's true and who's through. the decision is yours.

it felt like christmas today for the first time all month. too many reasons why.
it was good to have you back, anyway. you absence disappointed me so. and
yet, you were here all along.

today, i pictured myself in 15 years. still on my own. but this time, spooned
around my child. i think that i could be okay with a situation like that. going
to family functions, dodging questions regarding my latest love interest, and
pridefully displaying my greatest piece of artwork. it's been a while since i
have admitted such circumstances to myself. i guess i've always known all
along, i've just been lazy. and selfish.

tomorrow is the last 8A.




Ad: