slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
2005-12-19 09:18:00 (UTC)

sub diary 18-12-05


my posts are few and far between due to me having limited
access to internet at present. i also have failed in
keeping my diary on notebook for when i am again connected
to the net. the store is so busy and i have been working
long hours there and settling into my new place. at the
end of day i just need to fall into bed asleep.

Master & i have had short periods of contact over this
time. nothing to either of our satisfaction. my Master has
been working more as well. it is the xmas season that does
this to Uus on top of my problems.

most time i am on top of the time differences between
Master and i but then i let my heart rule my head and i try
to call Master. it may have been a guilty conscience that
made me do this last night. i have been feeling so lost
lonely and empty the past week. i was invited to go out to
a xmas party with a mothers group. (no i am not a mother :()
i thought this was a safe group to be with. wrong. the meal
was nice but then they all wished to let their hair down a
little being away from their partners and the kids. i went
along. the night turned into a real girls night out. at
the clubs there is an opportunity to win free drinks for
doing various tasks. first was to kiss (not just a peck) a of the girls jumped up. then 2 circles of girls
circling in opposite directions...crowd to decide winner.
these games continue all night. when they asked guys to
line up something deep inside of me told me it was wrong
but i didnt listen. i joined in for free drinks. things
went from there. i felt a little better as i listened to
the music and watch other activities after that. i ended
up outside when the girls again found me but i had had
enough alcohol, i went for a snack and water. we all
returned to the club until shut down. we had a personal
breath tester and i showed under so i then drove all home.

i dont recall what happened from the time i was watching to
the time i was outside. it is a blank. i am unsure of the
time lapse as well. i have told Master when Wwe chatted
earlier. he has ordered severe punishment tomorrow. for
the first time since i have been His i am terrified of what
lie ahead. this is maybe a female thing but this
punishment is to occur on 19th which is the day 8 months
ago i was collared to Master.

later in the evening Master rang my cell while i was
driving and He guided me through some pain & pleasure.
tears of shame flowed as i followed His orders. the cumming
was amazingly releaving. the sting of the spanks a little
mind clearing. they again has shown me my place and i like
where that is. at my Masters feet.

i love You Master
slave jess {MJ}

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