Weird Chuck

Meeting Myself... For the First time.
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2005-12-14 10:29:16 (UTC)

So Much to Say... So Little Time.

Talk about looking through the attic and finding an old,
forgotten toy...

I look back on the few pages I've put in here and I can
see how I've matured... things that once caused me pain
and panic no longer have power to touch me. Things that
once brought me a perverse joy are now mere humors that
are rarely entertained anymore.

Online gaming? Pah, why bother for the most part. It was
a learning experience for my writing skill, I've
learned... I've moved beyond that. Now if I wish to do
some gaming, I'll grab some paper and dice and do so in a
normal fashion.

Stalker Ex's? Not a problem. It seems that when you
finally cut off all avenues of contact, the undesired
contact will, in fact, cease. Go figure, only took me a
lot of mental and emotional anguish to understand that
one. Seems like I should give myself a cookie for finally
getting my head out of my ass.

Schooling? Nah, I've found that anything I wish to learn
is easily taught to myself. Sign Language? Let me get a
book or two on the subject, maybe a CD for the computer.
I'll learn it. As for anything else... the best teacher
is curiosity.

Now, enough of looking back into the past... It's just
that, past, let it remain buried. I find much more
interest living in the present and looking toward the
future.

The present? I've just begun a relationship with a
wonderful lady. She's a few years older than me and has a
daughter... does this bother me? Nope. In four days I'll
have known her a month. The only really scary thing is
how quickly I've developed feelings for this lady. She's
just.... just.... Fantasic. I sincerely hope that what I
feel may be starting as a relationship that could last the
rest of my days doesn't turn out to just be a fling. The
thing that makes me feel this won't happen is she worries
about the same thing. If two people want to keep ahold of
each other this much, isn't it almost meant to be?

I don't know... just hope a lot. I know that with her, I
can see the glimmer of a future... Let's just hope the
feeling is mutual. I think it is, but... well... let me
refer once more to the insecurities. It's always scary to
contemplate giving your heart to someone. And... I must
admit, I am contemplating giving mine to her. I feel in
my soul that she will take good care of it...

The future? Oh magic 8 Ball, speak to me!!! ~Answer Hazy,
ask Again~.

Who can see the future? Not me... well, not on normal
occasions though I do have my intuitions and prophesy
dreams sometimes. As for what the future holds... never
before has it had as wonderful promises as it has since
November 18th... I shall close my eyes, take my leap of
faith, and see where the fates shall lead me. One may
never know the landing, but the fall is glorious.


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