blkdragon

grounded
2005-12-14 04:25:15 (UTC)

Mood swings

A mouse ran over my foot this morning, startled the shit
out of me, had it not been so small it wouldn’t have been a
problem. My vocalization was a mixture of shock and anger,
stopped at the store to get something for his ass. Had
Greg working with me this morning, I really don’t need help
and the only reason these people are here is so Kenny can
justify not doing anything, they don’t really help me. Greg
talks waay too much and it’s always about nothing I want to
hear, more gossip than a man should be into. I don’t want
anyone approaching me with the words, “did you hear”, no I
didn’t hear because I wasn’t listening. I went to my break
at 11:30, Greg and Kenny spilled the load. Earlier, when I
went to the restroom, Greg told me that Kenny began
bitching immediately; because he couldn’t handle jogging
and stacking the work. The job requires rhythm and timing,
also rapt attention, neither of the people aforementioned
exhibit any of these aptitudes.
Chris assisted after noon, he’d gone home to have a beer,
usually he’s the only assistance worthy of note; today he
was too intoxicated to be of use. 2:30 came, I headed for
my car, 3:26; I headed to sign out. I was passing Lavon and
Rob, Lavon mentioned receiving a gift card for $300, I
could care less about that; it’s nothing but a placebo. I’d
talked to Lavon earlier, he’d attempted to get me to go to
the party, of the seven black men in the company; my lack
of attendance would be noticed and this is how I wanted it.
The point Lavon didn’t seem to understand, my time is my
own, to do with as I please. I don’t kiss ass, it’s much
easier to kick it! The gift card is probably only for
$100, I was planning to use a bit of it and give it to
Charles, that will be all he gets from me, I’m sure I won’t
get anything from him and I wasn’t expecting.
I have time to record a cassette before heading to the
rink, it’s starting well. I’m not in the best of moods, I’m
not going to be too talkative at the rink tonight, just
want to skate and leave. If Patty wants to talk, she’ll
have to do the talking. I increased the heat in Pharaoh’s
enclosure, he became animated almost immediately.
There’s a full moon tonight and I’m still only half full,
figuratively speaking!
10:07 pm Hit the rink by 7:15, said my hello’s, booted up
and hit the floor hard. Started off with speed, Mike got in
my downdraft and it was on, we did 7 or 8 laps and my leg
muscles were asking me if something was wrong with warming
up first. I got off the floor, I was too hype, too early; I
stayed in the practice area and wound down to warm up. I
noticed Patty, she noticed me, I'm not strung out. A Sista
passed by me and waved, don’t know her name but I’m
familiar with her, pretty lady; guess I’ll need to
introduce myself. I stayed focused!
A guy that I hadn’t seen in quite a while came to say
hello, I was on fire; new music. An hour after I’d arrived,
Patty skated near and sat down, usually I’d go sit with her
and talk; those days are gone and I let her sit alone. She
started watching me when I arrived, later she’d approach me
and tell me that she didn’t know I could spin in both
directions, I told her that I usually spin in my normal
direction and would change to spin in the other on one
foot; I’d get 5 or 6 revolutions. She told me that I looked
good when I spun, or was she telling me that she liked
looking at me, I let it pass, she informed me when she was
leaving and told me that it was good seeing me; I let that
pass as well. I concentrated on me tonight, there was no
place for her. I was a bit distant, to say the least, the
door I’d opened for her needs to be closed and I can’t say
that it’ll reopen. She’d responded to my email about the
calendars I’d given her, she only took two of the three I’d
left in my car, I’d emailed her saying that they were all
for her; she told me that she was unsure about taking them
all. My stand is the same with Patty as it is with the
company I work for, if you’re not going to give me what I
want, give me nothing.
On my way out of the rink, the elder Brutha asked if I
wanted to go to a party Friday night, a black ski club was
hosting and he gave me the address; I’ll consider his offer.




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