Rach

breaking away
2005-12-13 15:54:35 (UTC)

the last time...

so yea.. I am here in Econmics class doing this dumb
project and I am exemped form my exam anyways.. yea I have
a 98 so it is like pointless to do this project.. but
anyways.. yesterday was my last concert with the alexander
band.. how sad right.. :( no really it is well fro me .. I
dont wana go anywhere but I guess I have no choice
anyways.. I never did have a choice... we went out to eat
afte the concert @ Johnny Carinos.. it was pretty cool...
I had fun.. but I cant believe tht that was probably the
last time I would eat with all of them at one time u
know..and it sort of hit me there.. but I didnt wanna show
it.. when people asked me if I was ok I was like ye! lol I
am just tierd.. well that was a bunch of bull.. I wrote
that letter to that person it came out to be like... 6
pages I think.. super long dude!.... but I dont know what
to give hmi fo Christmas...:S.. Gabby was going to ask him
what he wannted and all that he wanted was a book.. and
well I would get him that.. but do u know how mnay
freaking books there are in the world.. and besides he
like books that are like.. hmm.. different.. u know.. so
yea I dont know what to give to him.. gabby just has to
get some shit out of him so that I can give it to him..
but yea.. I am leaving for NY... on Tursday.. ver y
excited.. "not".... I dont really wanna go.. I want to
spend those 3 days with my friends becasue I will always
have my family there.. but I wont see my friends as much
anymore.. and that is what kills me alot.. but I am going
to come back for the band banquet... but yea thats in
may.. so who knows what will happen.. I just dont know
what ot do about those feelings for him.. I want them to
go away.... like I do.. there is no point for he hangning
on.. but my heart doesnt wanna let him go.. my mind is
like FORGET IT!!.. but obviously my heart keeps on
winning.. I will just have to give him that letter.. and
see what happens.. and if nothing does like I dont get
some sort of reaction or anything.. then I knew for sure
that it wasnt ment to be and I wasted my time... so yea
good luck to me.. but I know that I will just have to see
how things go... but I know I will find someone.. but no..
now I just want him.. well.. I hope evrything goes wellin
your life.. and that all u do.. u succeed in.. God bless u
and ur family and I will pray for u everynight.. I swear I
will..
bye.....:(




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