blkdragon

grounded
2005-11-22 05:20:30 (UTC)

Can you hear me now?

11/19/05 Headed out of town later than I’d planned, got to
Boston shortly after 1. My Sister left the door open for
me, Abe came in shortly after I did, Fret took me to see
our Mother at 3pm; she didn’t stay. I sat and watched my
Mother sleep, tried calling her and she didn’t respond, so
I let her sleep a while longer. One of the nurses came in
to check her blood sugar levels, she called my Mother’s
name and told her what she was doing, my Mother responded
to her (verbally) and lifted her hand for the stick. I
thought, “she’s forgotten the sound of my voice”, that
bothered me and I decided that I needed to see her more
often. The nurses asked who I was, I told them I was
Viola’s Son, they proceeded to awaken her; telling her that
I was there. She recognized their voices, again it troubled
me. When She opened her eyes, they asked if she saw who was
there, she was disoriented; she either couldn’t see clearly
or didn’t recognize me. I understood, strengthening my
resolve to visit much more often, no matter what it took; I
don’t want my Mother not to know or recognize my voice and
face. The nurses had asked me to leave, they needed to
change my Mother. I returned and Ma was wheeled into the
room, she was talking about a check being blown from her
hand by the wind, I tried soothing her; she was getting
upset and starting to cry. I rubbed her legs and hands,
told her that we’d take care of everything and for her not
to worry about anything at all.
She told me that today was someone’s birthday, I smiled and
told her that it was mine, she asked how old I was and told
me that I was catching up to her; I smiled again. Ma
started talking about wanting to leave and go home, she
began trying to get out of her chair, I couldn’t stop her;
her determination is formidable. She had me help her out of
the wheelchair, I figured I’d walk her until she tired,
that wasn’t going to work. Ma got a good grip on my arm and
we were off, I had to work to keep her from dragging me
along(seriously), eventually I was able to steer her in the
direction of the dining hall. I stayed to feed her, she’s
having trouble keeping her good hand from shaking
uncontrollably.
It wasn’t going to be easy leaving her now, Ma was wide
awake and wanted to go home, she wasn’t taking no for an
answer; even the explanation wasn’t enough. The nurse came
to my aid, I asked if this was normal, she said yes. I
asked what they did in this situation, she told me that
they talk to her, walk with her and it takes her mind off
her concerns for the moment. I told the nurse that I’d
leave her to her job, grabbed my bag and headed back to
Fret’s house.
I made it back to Fret’s without difficulty, she had a meal
waiting for me, I ate and we talked; I noticed that every
time she got up she complained about her back. Fret and Abe
seem to want to be old, they complain all the time, about
one thing or another Fret’s only 4 years older than I, Abe
might be 6 year older. They’re talking about moving
somewhere warmer, to a gated community. They watch
television all day and have meaningless discussions about
trivia. To say I was bored is an understatement. I brought
the remainder of the bottle of Sambuca with me, Abe poured
himself a few fingers full, we talked about “Been Tagged”;
Fret told me that I’d sent her hard copy of the story. Abe
asked her to get it for him, she couldn’t find it, she told
me that she’d almost finished it and (at first) thought it
was pornography. From her response, it seems they’re no
longer enjoying each other’s bodies.
I woke shortly after my Sister, we talked for a bit and I
went to shower, she made breakfast and I headed to see my
Mother; before getting back on the road. I made it to Cedar
Grove, Ma was in front of the nurses station, with the rest
of the residents; she was nodding. I stopped, kissed her
and told her that I was on my way back home. I told her
that I’d do my best to come more often, I rubbed her legs,
got up to kiss her again and told her I’d see her soon. She
seemed distant and tired, I saw no reason to hang around, I
wanted to hurry home; I was anxious to leave Boston.
I had difficulty leaving, found myself downtown trying to
find the Mass Turnpike, finally I was heading home. I made
it back to Albany by 1pm. Patty called shortly after I
arrived in the house, she told me that she was on the road
and would be arriving in New York in the next five hours,
she’d call me later; that didn’t happen. I called her
Mother, she hadn’t seen Patty since the wake, Wednesday
night; she gave me directions to the house in Wilton.
I got a call from Peter, Louisa is in the hospital, she’d
almost died last night. Both Louisa and Toya called me
while I was in Boston. Louisa had no reason to be in Albany
and Toya was crying, she’d had a serious accident with the
van, everyone was ok though. I told them both that I’d call
when I got back to town. I went to see Louisa, seems she
didn’t have dentures, now she doesn’t have teeth and her
jaw seems to be swollen. She’s angry, scared and tired of
living, 11/20/05 she’s combative because she’s not doing
dialysis; were she to do the dialysis on schedule, she
wouldn’t have this volume of problems. Her “Family” allowed
her to get on a bus, even though she hadn’t had dialysis in
a week, they told Trish to take her straight to the
hospital. Trish had to fight her to get her to go, her
Potassium levels were too high, she almost died again.
Louisa doesn’t understand the necessity to pay attention to
the things that could spell disaster for her, she’s spoiled
and wants to be babied, she chooses to be grown when she
wants her way. When Louisa called me,I was talking to my
Sister, she told me that she was cold; there was supposedly
no heat in the house. She wanted me to come and turn the
heat on, tell her where the cords were, the real problem
was the lack of dialysis. She called back later, telling me
that she was on her way to the hospital. I told her that
I’d call her when I got back to town, told Toya the same
thing.




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