megan

listen to my silences
2005-11-15 00:35:27 (UTC)

well screw it

that's right, screw it

screw life.
screw love.
screw relationships. or should i say relationshits.
screw being screwed.
screw screws. and nails while we're at it.
screw being hurt.
screw giving. and giving up.
and you know that it thing on the ebay commercials? screw
it too.

as you can see, i'm having a wonderful day. living in all
the thoughts that i couldn't say. all the things i wanted
to. and needed to. but couldn't because i'm tired of
hurting and accusing you of hurting me and hurting you.
yeah, i had an okay weekend. playing in leaves and
driving around and all. okay, i had a good saturday.
till saturday night, when i gave in again.

i just want to be happy. i don't want to try to be
happy. i don't want to fake anything. i'm tired of
faking things and of you faking things and now of the word
fake. i just want to be happy.

you want to know something crazy? saturday, i wanted to
work harder on this than sunday, because i didn't feel
obligated to. now i feel obligated to and so i pull a
megan and don't want to. that's why saturday was so good
i think. and why i got mad about you going out sunday.
saturday when you said you were going out i was okay with
it, until we became solidified again. and then i was mad
because you know it was my weekend off. but whatever.

final thought: screw doing things because other people
want you to