CrimsonTears

Hollow Years
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2005-11-12 17:43:54 (UTC)

What makes it so easy for you to be walking by

Okay so alot has happened..I'm not with simon..stuff
happened..But whats worse is he now hates my exinstance =
[..I'ts really hurting me i mean i felt so close to him
and he just doesn't care what happens to me anymore and
keeps calling me and told me to fuck off when i tried to
be his friend =[...It hurts to much thinking about it then
realising it that it's actually true..I feel like he was
lying all the time and he actually never did care..he was
the one person i always told how i felt and knew i could
tell everything and now ive lost the one person i thought
i would never loose =[.
I like this lad from college called Matt..He was really
nice at first and i thought everything was okay and i
could finally move on with him and get over simon..But he
changes..i mean i give up maybe getting back with simon
because i really started to like matt and thought he cared
and liked me too..But now its like hes really nice then he
acts like he doesnt care and it really upsets me i knew i
shouldnt of let anyone else in =[..it's like i have simon
on my mind constantly how much he hates me then i'm also
upset about Matt when i feel like he doesnt care
anymore..Then i have the stress of my work thats really
getting to me at the moment and i really can't cope.I
didn't even go into college on Friday because on thursday
i just burst out crying to helen I don't know what to do i
cant handle all these thoughts in my head at once and none
of them go away ever =[...

So basically i really dislike my life at the moment and
wish it wasn't me living it..I don't want to regret ever
being with simon but i think he regrets me =[ He was the
one thing keeping me going even if he was only my friend
and now i feel like no one really likes me and everyone
can hurt me ever so easily and not care and to be honest
im scared =[...

Song: Kelly clarkson - behind these hazel eyes
Mood: I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I'm bearly hanging
on..


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