Mark Gittner

Gay Guy juggles his life struggles.
2005-11-11 03:58:56 (UTC)

Life always adds a twist in the gut

Wow. This has been a interesting year. I find Trevor again
after a decade, Rachelle again after a decade, Ahimsa again
after a decade, AnnaLynne (almost) again after a decade,
and Karolyn and Tod Kubo are still hanging in there after a
decade and I have so many people I love in my life. And
they are almost ALL so successful and i'm so amazed at

Why am i so lucky to be surrounded by so many beautiful
spirits and yet unable to overcome so many of my own
obstacles? Yes, I'm in a good place compared to 5 years
ago, and I have no regrets, but my path going forward now
is so clouded.

I'm still not dating anyone, and I have no time to try.
That is one of the hardest things right now, is I have no
one to cuddle up under a warm blankie with. And I know
where my heart lies, and I'll never get him back. Yet there
are so many fires I can warm myself by, I just have to make
the effort.

Have really mixed emotions right now. Just can't tell if
I'm positive or negative in thought right now. I'd trade my
life for nothing, but I'd certainly like to borrow someone
elses for a day or two! LOL

School is going well. Looks like four A's are gonna be on
the grade sheet this semester.

Work sucks. I'd rather be acting. And I hope I will one day
soon. RETAIL HOLIDAYS = DEATH . We think my boss has
been stealing stuff, and now I'm sure she knows shes being
investigated, and I'm pretty sure the D.M. told her. AND
she is retaliating by writing us up and getting ready to
fire us I think.

My Spiritual life is unknown right now. at peace? I don't
know. Lost? I don't know. I don't feel much in that way
right now. Not unhappy, not really satisfied. Like I'm on
the edge of something. but not a cliff.

I guess I'm ok right now. Almost.