Nick's Journal
Ad 2:
2005-11-11 02:53:44 (UTC)

The 'Flow' of Life

it has been well over a year since i have left college. i
have noticed a change in my lifestyle as such. life moves
like an ocean (oh yeah, i'm the first one to make that
analogy bitch!).
but the thing is, life is either like an ocean at the ebb,
crashing on tides into the sand, and then pulling away what
it gave you, or rather you are in the middle of the ocean,
where everything is the fuck quiet and you don't know what
the fuck everyone is bitchin' about. shit, the waves and
momentum move you left and right, but truly you're still
stuck at a certain longitude and latitude and nothing has
fucking changed. the same sharks circle you, and the same
sun burns down upon you...watching you.
when i was in college i was on the shore, being rudely
washed upon the sand of college life every now and then with
a simple phrase of,
" wanna smoke?"
now, well now i lie in the wade of the constant motion.
sure shit is always going on around me, but how much really
affects me? sure in my later years i can manage a stroke
here or there (also known as dinner parties) to spice my
life up, but hey. the true wave of monstrosity has given up
on me. shit, a whole fucking year has gone by and i am who
i was.
and the irony of it is that i have been changing a lot. as
a person i have become more analytical (call me a nerd) more
conscious of what i what to become and even more so i know
with whom i want to be with for the rest of my life. yet,
the ebb and flow of my life has tried to drown me.
i believe that is the essence of my being. i have not
drowned, i have found someone who is and (i hope) will
always be my life preserver.
you know what? i will wade. I will wade in the warmth
current of self-assurance, of commitment, and of love.
fuck the shore.

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