Jase

Enter My World...
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2005-11-07 15:15:55 (UTC)

the wings of change

ah, what an eventful few weeks i've had.

firstly, me & ben went to hull to visit lg n sare. i had a
fabulous time. met some really nice people like becky &
mark. mark was adorable, although he's obsessed with laura
& she's leading him on, as she does. i'm beginning to
question wheater or not she does it on purpose. anyway, the
first night was good, apart from the fact i failed in
trying to beat my shot record. i think i got to around 16
shots, before i couldn't take it. my record of 21 still
stands, and i've got a feeling it's gonna stay that way. i
was sick a record-breaking total of 4 times, within the
space of a few hours. i kept saying to myself it's my own
damn fault. hehe, i even tried to go to sleep on the
landing, outside sara's room. good job it was like 5am or
something daft. on the second night we went to the lawns
bar, cause we couldn't afford to go out. it was good, apart
from the fact sara was drinking wayyy too much (as she
does). we got back to the lawns & sara had another one of
her "Emotional Breakdowns", as i like to call 'em. she
thought ashley & co. were slaggin' her off, so she became
all paranoid. she basically argued with ben all night (he
was trying to tell her not to drink as much, etc...) it was
a pretty miserable night. the last night we were gonna go
to aslyum, but me & ben couldn't get it, cause we had no
student ID, so me, him, lg & mark went to vodka revolution,
then a gay bar called fuel, which was great fun. mark only
lasted 5 minutes in the gay club, bless him. sara & becky
didn't come with us, coz they went into aslyum. after fuel,
we went back to laura's for a while. about 20 minutes
later, becky & sara come in - they are not in a healthy
state. becky's extremely drunk, and sara's not far behind.
THEN this is where the real fun kicks off. sara enlightens
us that she's going to have a threesome with these two vile
users, who are just...vile. so, me, ben, mark & laura spent
the next 2 hours or so talking her out of it. we did in the
end, but that's only cause we didn't lend her a phone to
txt andrew (the guy who wanted the threesome), cause she
ran out of credit, thank the lord. he came up just as i'd
talked sara around, and he was like "dya wanna come outside
for a fag"...they hugged, and sara mouthed "are you angry
with me?" i said no, but i was furious. they went outside,
and i kept sending ben & co. down to see if that's all they
were doing (having a fag). anyway, about 45 minutes later,
sara comes in, thankfully & she's alright. she didn't go
through with it, but she was still pissed off, because
she's "mature enough to make decisions for herself". she
isn't, though. she was a virgin 2 months back, and now,
since she's at uni, she's opening her legs for anyone. i
mean, if i was in her position, i suppose i'd be
having "fun" with guys, but not at the rate she's going.
she's only doing it to prove a point, and it's so
frustrating. anywayyy, we all went to bed at arond 6am, and
i woke to find sara crying. i told her she better not be
having ANOTHER emotional breakdown on me, and she said no,
she was just upset that me & ben were going, because she
can't really talk to anyone; everyone in laura's block
hates her, etc...i felt so bad for her. the next morning we
left bright and early, at around half 10, which didn't go
down well with me, because i was nakard. so, i had a great
three days. i can't wait to go back. hopefully it'll be in
the next couple of weeks, because i'll be getting my grant
soon (well, that's if they don't say "attend fully for a
few weeks, and we'll give you it". if they say that, well,
i'm fucked), so yeah, i had an amazing time & it confirmed
how much i atcually wanna go to hull next year.

sooo, last sunday night i went to the goth event at
Laughtons. "Laughtons III", as i call it. the past two were
complete classic nights. this one...well, wasn't. where do
i begin? i went with soph & mike, and all was going fine,
until soph pulled me aside and tells me she's back with
darrian. she finished with mike a week or so back, and
three days later, she's back with that cunt. i say okay,
right. she hasn't told mike. i know this is gonna end in
disaster, and it does. whilse soph's at the toilet, mike
reads the txt's on her phone...all of which are off
darrian...oh...dear. he storms out of the club & soph runs
after him. they talk on the stairs for around 10-15
minutes, and mike just leaves. soph runs back upstairs,
crying. i run after her. she tells me he's found it, and i
just don't know what to say. i felt so useless. anyway,
about half n hour later we leave, and i get her to the
nearest phone box to ring mike. as she's doing so, here
comes mike, walking down the street. he asks if i can give
them time, which i say sure too. so, i wait for around an
hour, because i figure soph's gonna need support after her
talk with him. an hour passes, and they still haven't done,
so i start thinking "do they wanna go for a walk and talk
about things, but soph feels she can't, because she knows
i'm waiting?", so i leave. the next day soph leaves a
couple of messages on my phone, asking if i'd ring her,
which is fair enough, until mike tells me soph said she
doesn't care who she hurts in this, apart from mike. she
doesn't give a shit if she hurts any of her friends,
apparantly. so, i'm offended. she doesn't give a shit about
what i think, and if i'm not happy about the situation?
fine, i don't give a fuck. i won't be there for you when
the ginger cunt lets you down & i won't be there for you
when everything comes crashing down around you. i don't
know. it always seems like i'm the one doing the running.
whenever we haven't talked for a while, it always seems to
be ME doing the emailing & phoning. never her. so i'm gonna
wait until she mails, or phones. if she doesn't, well fair
enough, that'll tell me our whole friendship isn't worth
shit.

apart from that, there's nothing really exciting to report.
i went back to college last week, and got bollocked. a long
story, but they want to call my mother in, which i just
don't understand at all. i didn't go on friday, and i
didn't go today, so i'll have to go tomorrow. i so don't
want to be there, but i have to be there, if i want to move
to uni next year. *sigh*

more news about ongoing situations in due course.

knux


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