Master's bliss

Master's bliss
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2005-11-05 02:27:50 (UTC)

Will this slave ever learn?

Dearest Master,

Once again, this slave offers up an entry of apology and
remorse. she has already offered her apologies privately,
however, she understands that You need to have time alone
to sort through Your feelings before W/we can spend any
time T/together. this slave only hopes that her lack of
attention has not caused irreparable harm to O/our night.
this slave is so sorry for not paying attention to You
earlier and for ignoring Your words. she was not
defiantly trying to disobey You, however, she is not going
to further inflame the situation by offering up excuses.
she is truly remorseful for her mistakes.

January 7, 2005, the day that W/we signed O/our contract
officially making this slave Your slave. That day is as
special, if not more so, than O/our wedding day and the
days that O/our children were born. It is also the day
that this slave began being held to a much higher
standard. There is a lot of pressure on newly married
couples, each trying to learn the other's idiosyncracies,
wants and needs, and many times, couples, inspite of their
love for each other, cannot stand under the pressure and
they fold. They give in to their desire for days of
freedom, and the marriage ends. That has never been
U/us. There have been mistakes and misunderstandings in
O/our nearly 20 years T/together, but never once did
either of U/us consider throwing the towel in on O/our
L/life. W/we are E/each O/other's life both then and
now. Nothing can tear U/us apart or rend O/our love
invalid. In many ways, even though W/we have been
T/together as a couple for so long, this slave feels the
pressure of a newly married wife as she adjusts to life as
Your slave. There are behaviors that she has had for
years that would never have caused her trouble in O/our
previous life, but now, as she is held to a higher
standard, these behaviors are causing quite a bit of
trouble. she has learned much, and she knows that she
will learn more. she also knows that 40 years worth of
habits are hard to break. Some habits were easily
dropped, while others hold on like a vice. There are
times when this slave feels as though she will never
learn, and that she wants to stop trying. There are times
when she even verbalizes this feeling to You. You and
this slave have made it quite clear that W/we are as
committed to O/our Master/slave relationship as W/we are
to O/our marriage. this slave knows that W/we are
committed to O/our marriage till W/we are parted by death,
so it stands to reason that O/our M/s relationship will
last just as long. this slave believes that this is the
correct relationship for U/us, and she feels that You
concur, however, she sometimes feels as though You grow
tired of her mistakes and are becoming less and less eager
to forgive, punish and forget.

Punishment. this is an area of extreme frustration for
this slave, and she assumes it is equally frustrating for
You. When this slave errs in her behavior, the ideal
situation would be for You to take immediate action to
correct her behavior with a well placed cane on her
posterior, thighs and breasts, however, with children in
the house, this is rarely feasable. At the same time,
when it is appropriate, it doesn't seem to happen. You
have told this slave that when You punish her at the
moment when Your anger is greatest, You feel as though You
are being cruel and abusive toward her. Consequently,
Your anger stays within You, and You become distant and
silent towards this slave. You eventually do forgive this
slave, and render punishment, however, by that time, this
slave is feeling the exact feelings that You were trying
to avoid by not punishing her in the moment. To her, it
is much more cruel to shut her off emotionally than to
give her a harsh punishment and get it over with. Even if
the punishment was more extreme that what she might
deserve, she would much rather have immediate correction
than for silence and anger to fester between U/us. this
slave hopes You understand what she is trying to say
here. she is not trying to tell You what to do, or to Top
from the bottom. she is just letting You know what she is
feeling right now.

Master, this slave loves You with all her heart, and more
than anything in this world, this slave desires to be Your
slave. she remembers in past years reading books and
stories of real Masters and slaves. Every time the slave
messed up, this slave would arrogantly think, "I would
never do that." Yet here she is, for the countless time,
begging Your forgiveness for her lack of disclipline, lack
of focus, and lack of attention to Your words. this slave
is so sorry, Master. she loves You and she begs Your
pardon, once again.

Your loving, loyal, and devoted slave-pet,

bliss


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