Where is anger?
I'm not angry.
I really should be though. Hot, cleansing, healthy anger.
But all I'm feeling is sad. Well, with an unhealthy feeling
of having a knife twisted. But hey, I gave the chance. It's
not like I didn't know it wasn't going to hurt when I
answered the question. I can't help it -- she will ask, and
if I tell her that answering won't serve any purpose..
well.. it still hurts. There is no right answer. There's
only the truth, or the lie she wants to hear.. whatever
painful belief is twisting inside her.
It's strange how you can see it coming.. and decide to
simply tell the truth, and hope that this time, unlike the
last, the truth will work.
Never does. And I never learn. Or maybe it's I never give up
hope. I suppose it could be that I never unlearn. I don't
know. I wish I did.
But I wish it didn't hurt so much.