Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
Ad 2:
2005-10-25 15:03:27 (UTC)

All Over.

It's all over. We had multiple phone discussions last
night, and Ravon isn't on the net anymore.

My goal was reached ... That's what I wanted. So why aren't
I happy? I have no idea.

People think it's because I miss Ravon and Kade. Because I
lost two freinds. But it's nothing like that at all.

I couldn't care less. I just ... I don't knwo I'm feeling

I have no ideal. I think it may be ... I don't know. I
didn't think everything would happen like that.

It played out so easily, I was expecting a challenge and
I'm a little disapointed.

And I know for a fact that part of me was secretly hoping
she would end it for me. Kill herself, be rid of my burden.

I guess it's like a hurricain. It goes through ... And
ruins everything. And you finally rebuild your old
estate ... But your left with a certain feeling of

She will not be forgiven. I can still keep my anger, though
it's over. I can't forgive her for that. There was no
reason for any of it.

And yes, in the end mom and my suspiscious were right. She
was obsessed with me and tried to break me up with Nik. -

I'm not happy for her that she's getting help. I'm not
happy about anything. The only thing I'm happy about is
Brennan. He seems so happy now that it's all over.

I couldn't care less if she got help. She doesn't fucking
deserve help.

She deserves to rot. Yes, I'm a little bitter on the
revenge department. I just made her happier, which was not
something I had intended.

I can move on. I guess that's what really matters.

I haven't really talked to Nik in a long time. I've been
caught up with other stuff. This whole Ravon thing.
Nexopia. Everything else ...

Blah, now I feel worse.