Diary of a sexual Nympho
2005-10-23 03:34:49 (UTC)

caught in a downward spiral

She had the abortion 5 weeks ago. I thought once she had
gone through with it me and J would be better than ever.
All thoughts of her fading into a distant memory the only
contact dopping off and picking up his daughter. How wrong
could I have been. She first started off staying with him
after the abortion. Only for a few days or so he said,
until some of the emotional and physical elements of the
abortion had started to heal. A few days turned into a
week and a week into a month. I could cope with this
knowing that me and my boy would eventually be better
because of this, until he dropped a bombshell on me, that
his ex did not know about me, that he thought if he had
told her about me earlier than she wouldnt have the
abortion just to spite J and me. And he also couldnt tell
her now because it was too soon after the abortion. I
couldnt call him in case she got suspicious and stressed.
On the beginning of the fifth week he told me that one of
his flatmates had moved out and that she was moving in till
the end of the lease 10 weeks away. Finally after 5 weeks
of bare minimal contact of him promising to call and not
calling, of me trying to call him with no answer, not
eating, not sleeping and drinking and smoking way too much
I eventually got hold of him. I let everything that had
built up over the last 5 weeks spill out, anger,
resentment, hate, sorrow and distrust. I told him that if
he loved me he would of told her about me 3 weeks ago. And
that if he didnt tell her about me that night i was leaving
him. And that I deserved better than what he was doing to
me, that i couldnt cope with how this was making me feel.
He told me that he no other choice but to tell her and that
he didnt want to loose me. That was on wednesday night. I
tried to contact him Thursday with no luck. I gove up.
Instead waiting for him to make contact with me. Its now
Sunday with out a peep. You might think im stupid that all
the signs are there, that hes doesnt want to be with me
anymore. I think that too. But I have given him so many
chances over the last 5 weeks to back out of the
relationship. He hasnt taken any of them. Saying that he
loves me and wants to be with me forever. That we are
soulmates. And that if we had been together longer then he
would ask me to marry him. I guess only time will tell.
But for each day that passes my longing to pick up the
phone gets less and less, and the love i feel for him is
starting to dull. He will not realise what he has lost
until its too late.

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