Ad 0:
2005-10-19 04:59:43 (UTC)


I have to wonder about fate from time to time. Is it
playing a game with me? I end up bouncing around like a
ping pong that's only there for mere amusement. I don't
feel content right now. I keep telling myself to forget men
and the fact that I've been dubbed as the "slow" and
"stupid" of the group -so basically the village idiot. Yet
I find myself searching for that man who'd complete me in
hopes that there IS someone else out there; that the choice
to end things with Mike wasn't some huge regretable mistake.
Then, according to Drew, there are a number of guys who are

There's one I know of for sure yet these other mystery men
need to speak up. Ironically I'm wanting to just met them
by chance. Never have I gone out and actively looked for
this "mr. right". It'll happen in time I'm sure.

I also am beginning to realize how uncomfortable I am in my
own skin. That's something I definitely need to find a
remedy for. I need the uncertainty that pulses through my
veins to be drained and disposed of. Every step I take
wavers as if in fear that the ground will cave in. Where
everyone else has an idea what they wish to do for a living
I haven't the slightest. That's how it is I suppose. Here
I feel comfortable as an observer. Time doesn't stop for me
so I stop for it. That's not right is it? No..I have to
keep moving or I'll never overcome this.

I've been having nightmares; I must be unsettled. Who
would've guessed?

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