my diary
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2005-10-18 18:23:24 (UTC)

what are you waiting for

I really think so many of us walk around in these bubbles,
believing that we are immune to illness, death, and just
terrible things in general. We continue to think it just
won’t happen to me, we continue to think that we are
immune to tragedy until we actually experience it, or it
hits really close to home….

This last weekend a close friend of the family was killed
in a car accident. This young girl had her whole life
ahead of her, not to mention a baby at home. I think when
I first heard, ‘she didn’t’ make it’, there were a couple
minutes of just disbelief. I thought no, there has to be
a mistake. I just saw her a couple months ago; she just
had a little girl. I wanted to ask, are you sure? Do you
think maybe you could check again? I know that’s crazy,
but it’s just the first thoughts that came to mind, this
isn’t real. Of course after the realization hit, there
was this wave of sadness. I started to think about her
family, her mother, her father, her husband, but most of
all I started to think of a little baby at home who would
never know her mother. My bubble had been popped.

I hate to admit it, but I know I believe that I am immune
to certain things. I foolishly believe sometimes that
nothing bad will ever happen to someone I know and love,
or even to me for that matter. I take so many people in
life for granted, never stopping to think that any one of
them could be taken away from me. And who wants to think
about that, who wants to think about death, about losing
people that we love. I suppose the solution for many,
including myself, is just to not think about that. But
when we do this, we end up taking people for granted; we
don’t tell people how we feel. We go to bed at night
assuming that when we wake up the next morning, they will
be there. We fail to realize tomorrow is not a

Whenever something like this happens, whether we ourselves
experience a tragedy or someone close to us does, we all
make vows and promises to not take anyone we love for
granted. We promise to always tell the ones we love how
much they matter, but as time goes on, often we forget
these promises, and we fall right back into taking life
for granted. We don’t call back home because we couldn’t
find the time, we don’t tell our parents we love them
after hanging up the phone, we forget to tell our friends
how much they mean to us. I am going to try to keep that
promise, I am going to be sure to tell the people I care
about, how much they do mean to me. I think it’s
important to tell your friends and your family that you
love them, we shouldn’t assume they already know, but more
importantly we shouldn’t assume that we will get another
chance to tell them how we feel.

I think it’s a lot like a quote I found once that said, if
you knew you were going to die tomorrow, and you only had
one phone call to make, who would you call, what would you
say, what are you waiting for…..Don't ever take life for
granted, it takes one second for you entire world to be
turned upside down, enjoy every day to the fullest, and be
sure tell the ones you love, how much you care. Pretend
like today will be your last, because you know what, some
day will be.

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