2005-10-16 23:45:19 (UTC)

Okay, I'm cool

Well, after a goodnight sleep and a nice conversation with
Teresa I got back to focus on what is really important. I
knew that's what I had to do from the beginning, that's
why I kept busy and didn't ovrreact, but I couldn't help
what I felt.

I just don't know what to do about him now. Should I
demand an expanation, or just forget him. It would seem
easy just to forget him, but I want reasons. It might just
be a misunderstanding. If we can work this out he'd have
to woe me so bad then, cause now I know what kind of guy
he really is. Sweet and silly, but bit immature. You can
just tell me, hey it's not working out, or something you
said made me upset.

I'm starting to think it was the comment about being gay.
It was a silly joke. He put me in place then. It was a
good response. WT hell. Okay so bad joke, is that it? I
don't get guys. Oh well, I've got my future to think of.

I'm thinking of being a clown. Just a weekend gig.
Hopefully I'll get it. Well, I don't care what I do
anymore, for the time being. Give me just a little
something on the side to help with the bills and get me
out of debt. Especially since I want to apply for a loan
soon. I need 5 grand soon and don't know how to get it yet.

I love massage. Especially since I'm not selling a
product. It's a service. Just use my hands and voila. Ooh,
this reminds me I was suppose to look for a covent to
join, I must get going then... Ciao