The First Tear

TEars: Good and Bad
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2005-10-12 18:26:38 (UTC)

Is it bad that I wanna cry?

Dear Diary

I wanna cry. Why? Why? I should be happy that I'm goin'
home. I dunno. Tricia and Zac are still pissing me off. I
really beginning to dislike them all. Amanda is agreeing
with me totaly. yes yes. I'm glad I'm not alone in this
one. I wish I could just tell them how I feel but, there's
no way. I'm just really deppressed.

I'm so deppressed. It's not even funny anymor.e I just
wnana cry all the time. I can't. I have to atleast act
happy. I dunno. I'm trying so hard. I'm thinking, maybe,
suicide agian. I'm seriously thinking it though. I love the
iddea of dying right now. I'm a freak. I think about how it
will feel to take all those pills again. I wanna go and get
in my box and take them all. I think that if I don't feel
better by next week and things ar different then I may kill
myself next weekend. Don't hold me to this bu, i really
think i'm sck and tired of all this. I'm tird of everyone
and everything. I'm sick of life. Sick of dram. Sick, of
everything! I hate life! LIFE IS A BTICH!

Kiddy was talkin' about suicide the other day. She's
thinking about it too. Maybe I can talk to her and we can
make a suicide pact. I saw that on Law and Order: SVU. It
sounded good to me. lol. Pills are great. I hae some very
disturbing thoughts these days. I need someone to talk to.
I may look and see if there's a sight on-line and see if
there's someone that i can chat with.

Cocoa puff chicken! YUMMY! lol.

I gotta go. I need to do some things before I go to work.
bye bye

Love ya lots