acuapulco1

La Vida Mia
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2005-10-08 21:31:52 (UTC)

October 8, 2005

last night i cried, started earlier in the day when i decided i was going to race for
the cure in honor of my grandma and that made me alittle sad but i think it was
mostly because ive been letting alot of shit build up about ft. swo i pulled it
back together and got to work, then later i called my mom and as we were
saying goodnight it came out again. i told her i was fine and that i missed
everybody and thats why i did it but really it was mostly for ft. so i was online
and decided to make another name and me messaged me, and tried to pick me
up and i told him i wasnt attracted. i felt like shit for doing it and immediately
left and deleted the new screen name. next time i decide to change screen
names ill make sure that he knows its me.

i dont understand him and have decided not to try any more. i dont want to tell
him im giving up because then hell think whatever and i might validate his
feelings that im crazy, so i wont be doing that. but im not going to try. no
texting, no ims, no calls. im pulling it back. if hes interested hes going to have
to step up. and i need to stick to this and give him the opportunnity to step up.
im concerned that if im not in his face hell forget about me. i guess if that
happens it will be a blessing.


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