Caitlyn

Caitlyn
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2005-10-08 01:21:13 (UTC)

i have changed and i admit it...

Yes, i agree i have changed. I used to be this nice sweet
girl who did everything for everyone, who respected
people, who loved her parents, who helped out as much as
she could, who never got angry, who never got into bad
moods and became bitchy, who never sucked at life. I used
to be someone everyone loved. I had friends who cared
about me and listened to me. I actually was happy. But
here i am now. Alone, no friends, hardly any family who
loves me and cares about me. No respect from anyone. No
life. Now here i am. A troubled young woman who feels like
she has no future. Who is stressed out to the max about
everything happening in her life. Who is the biggest bitch
in the entire world. What has happened to me?? Oh yes,
ofcourse, life has happened thats what!!! I blame my
parents, especially my mom! Ugh, don't get me started with
her. I blame people who excpect way too much of me; who
want me to be this perfect person who never gets into bad
moods ( i won't mention that persons name) I blame the
government ofcourse. These stupid gas prices. Getting
screwed over constantly. Feeling abandoned and feeling
like now i am the one who is in charge of everything cuz
my mom is too fucking lazy to actually care about being a
decent mom. Yes thats right. Lifes a bitch. Especially
mine. I used to think that i still had one thing that
would still make me happy. But after tonight i don't think
that "thing" is going to exist in my life any much longer.
(according to him) Since i get into bad moods all the
time, i keep getting pushed away farther and farther and
farther. Well u know what thats BULLSHIT!!!!! How are u
supposed to survive in a marriage if ur husband or wife is
getting pushed away from u cuz of bad moods? You'd get
divorced in like a week. So yeah, once again, i do agree
that i have changed. And if people don't like it, well
FUCK THEM cuz life is hard enuf. I'm not gonna sit there
and worry about ppl thinking about how i am and expecting
me to chnage. That will just piss me off even more.....So
when i'm happy i'm happy. When i'm sad i'm sad. When i'm
angry i'm angry. Thats just how its gonna be.


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