Lenora

Whatsername
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2005-10-05 06:31:03 (UTC)

It's a long, lonely day

I know I've just completely defied the point of this
journal by using an entry title that would never prompt
anyone to read further. Ah, such is life. We deal.

I had an argument with him today. Him. The guy. I should
never ever even try to form relationships. Stooooooopid. I
got mad. I kinda yelled at him over the phone. He's upset.
A small part of me cares. I feel like shit.

I can't help it, I guess. We all need someone, sooner or
later, and if the person you like has absolutely nothing
in common with you, and you know it's doomed from the get-
go, I think anyone would've given it a shot.
It's 1AM. I can't sleep. I kinda want him around. I kind
of don't. Maybe I just like the idea of him. Or someone.
Or anyone. Or maybe I just like the added heat source.
Boooooooooooo. . .

I'm starting to hate it here. I'm in this new town, I
don't know anyone, I have no friends, I don't really know
what I want to do with my freaking life, so why am I
spending 4 years in an expensive university trying to
figure it out?

I'm homesick. I miss my family. My old roommies. I miss
all of the little things, like the country roads, or even
just knowing where I'm going. I miss physical contact with
people - nothing sexual, but hugs, things like that. I
miss my urban family back home (my roommates and myself
had a pretty good thing going on.). I miss the comfort of
it all. Here, I'm stressed out of my mind. I don't belong
anywhere.

Good night.


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