JuggaloPsycho

Lunactic Scriptures
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2005-10-03 05:24:45 (UTC)

Familiar / Nothing's Left

-sigh-
it's just so depressing. : how can i cope when all
around me is sin from myself and others? how can any of us
repent and justify?
will an action of mine seriously doom me? am i seriously
pruneable from the rest of the flock? Lord knows i feel
Terrible about them allready...
this pain and sorrow...it...it aches. i feel empty.

They're damned if i do, I'm damned if i don't.

"...Feel betrayed like my love was ripped out of me. The
cycle is all too familiar to me. The cycle is all too
familiar to me."

this here is my only form to numb the pain, writing in my
diary and listening to music.
My friend Melinda gets numb by popping pills and getting
seriously shitfaced drunk. : she's killing herself by
doing it too. and it's mainly cuz of this guy she likes.
[fuckin men]
she almost died last week. she went on a heavy 3 day pill
poppin spree and i think she called up her b/f Nick who is
the guy somewhat responsible for pain. Mel almost died
last Tuesday. when she told me about it i cryed. now i'm
really worried for her safety...i want her to be happy,
but i want her to be healthy too.
On the plus side though, Jessica [another person i'm
really really close to] is doing marvels with her demons.
She's been through so much fucking unnessisary bullshit
and she's finally starting to come back fighting. I know
how tough it must be for her, but the fact she's taking
action...i couldn't be more fucking proud of her. She's
one tough gal. lol.


mmmmm...just thinking about her kinda makes me feel
better. I'm so fucking lucky to know her. She's a true
inspiration. :) gah, i'm tearing up again, but it's the
good kind. lol. hmmm...
i really digging this song i'm listening to right now.
Simple yet beautiful at the same time...god i love this
music. i really REALLY hope that music is what my goal in
life is. Then i could tour down to Fort Worth and kick it
with my homegirl Jess :P lol.

"On the day when the wagons come, i just pray that you let
me on. On the day when the wagons come, i just pray that
you let me on. [Hey, Jake Jekel fly! Twist & Spin to the
Other Side. Hey, Jack Jekel fly! Twist & Spin to the Other
Side.]"
mmmm...
this is nice. escaping reality to dream of what could be
when there's nothing but staleness around here on Earth...
Music is my drug of choice, i suggest y'all get addicted
to it cuz it works wonders with no nasty withdrawl to
tackle. anyways i'm outti. i got class tomorrow. talk to
y'all later.
Peace and Much Clown Love to my Juggalo Homie Family.