Confessions of a junky
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2005-09-29 20:48:34 (UTC)

Now i see

So in the past... alot of the friends i had ... they were
not friends they just used me for there own drug habits...
They needed to know where to go or where the party was...
and I was ...not such a nice person and i knew the area
pretty well you could say... So they would want me to take
them places and ... i would also call them cuz they had
cars and i didn't and they always pretty much took me
because i could get free stuff for me and for them and
whoever else came along... but thats because the people we
were getting it from knew they would get what they wanted
outta me... sooner or later...Weather it be something as
stupid as... go here and steal this or talk this person
into giving you this and that... or... Give me this.. or do
this to me... or.... Go make sure they got that... you know
the usual.. but i hated it... i hated it so much... every
day i felt more worthless more like trash.. and people let
me belive it... they treated me like i was and told me i
was... and soon i belived it was okay to be trash.. well
not really.. But i accepted it.. and thats when you know
your bad off... When you look at your life... and you and
you Bro Scotty are the only Whites alowed in Como.. and
your sleepen out on the streets any where you pass out..
and you get money and you spend it on crack instead of
food.. then a week or too later you go home to eat then
your back out doin the same thing CUZ OF YOUR FRIENDS!!!...
you know somthings wrong... well... like i said... i
learend the hard way they were not my friends... And i went
as far to call them FAMILY... and i treated my real family
like shit... and said that the only real family i had was
the ones that were giving me my crack... and feeding my
disease... but those people... that only loved me when i
had money... or when i had something worth money... and as
soon as i bought that rock.. they wanted me gone.. unless i
was going to share it... thats how.. Great my "Family"
was... And you know what.. i see that... they only cuddeld
up to me when i had crack in my hands... they only loved me
when i had money or drugs... the rest the time i was shit..
i was a kicking/punching bag... nothing else... just a
fucking peice of shit.. Well... thats all they are to me
now... and you know.. even tho i know they were doing that
sometimes.. Its hard to look at some of them and tell them
to go away... Cuz i swear some of them deserve fuckin
Grammys .... They played it off so well... I woulda sworn
some of them fuckin loved me... But they loved what i had..
And im okay now.. I have my true friends... they are still
stickin by me.. they still love me.. and im able to go one
with my life without all those losers that were there before

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