void deck
2005-09-27 14:36:01 (UTC)

harsh reality of my life

i envy his sister. her husband and her are so loving towards
each other. something i have never seen in my close family

i am sad. i realise his life is very different from mine. he
has a happy family. his family members are very close to one
another. his domestic life is pretty different from mine. i
won't fit.

i really must forget any prospect i have with him. it's too
rosy, too picture-prefect. happiness is not something that
is meant for me, i think.

i am very much like stevens, i realise. i am denying myself
now from any further expansion of my social circle. i'm not
interested in making friends anymore. i don't even care.

i really must let go. domestic bliss is not for me. actually
i cannot foresee myself making anyone happy.

this is sad, yet could not be less true.

let my broken heart remain this way. i don't want to nurture
any more wishful thinkings.

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