Confessions of a junky
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2005-09-26 22:52:55 (UTC)

Going back a little further

To the Crack House

So... I put in all the "Great Stuff" but thats because i
seen no bad... well let me tell you all... I was there.. we
all get that.. I did start smoking crack the first day...
And well apparently my Bro Scott been talking his girl
friend about me and her and she wanted me to meet her
cuzins well that night they came over and picked me up... i
was had been crying the past 2 days prior to this.. so this
day i was going to wash away all my pain.. i smoked as much
as before they got there i had already smoked about 200$
worth of crack not much.. i know... well we were hooked up
with some weed... And every thing and we left.. we went
driving around drinking and each one of us had are own
blunt... i wasnt doing so good... yeah i got sick.. cuz
with oreo i didnt do any drugs..he wanted me clean and
while i was with him i was .... and i was with him for a
while and then i jumped from that to smokeing 200$ of crack
and drinking my ass off then a blunt... and more and ontop
of that the bitch driving...DINDT KNOW HOW TO FUCKING
DRIVE... so i was car sick...or just fucking sick so as
soon as we got back.. i blew chunks.. and then... smoked
some more crack... and then this guy came over named
Will .... Yes.. he was FINE!!!! he was in the front
bedroom ....where all the deals took place...then he came
to the middle bedroom... wich is where i was in my bed
listing to some metallica....(we had a house full of blacks
and boy were they LOVIN that music of mine.LoL) and i had
it up sorta loud... He was also black .... But any way that
dont matter... he came in he was the Ice man... thats what
they called him any way... and he said that scott wanted me
to meet him... well... he closed my door and locked it...
he pulled out some crystals and asked me if i had anything
to smoke it with... yeah i did i already been smoking that
too... so i got outta bed and picked up my aluminum foil
and a fuckin straw and handed it to him cuz i thought he
was lookin for a place to smoke it... At the time i didnt
know he was a dealer... and i didnt know much of anything
about what went on and how things ran at the house.... But
any way... he put some on there and handed it to me and i
held the thing and he did the fire for me.. and i smoked
the ice... in my head... it was romantic...well if you seen
the way he was looking into my you woulda been
thinking the same thing... of course you would have to be
an ice head...and female and in the same situation and all
that kinda stuff... but any way... that was that... he kept
loading me up and i kept smoking... Lord i dont know how
much ice i smoked but i was sure feelin it.... and then...
you guessed it we fucked...... Later.. after the crack
house was busted and every thing was said and done... and
more people were sent into the room when i was alone and
had givin me drugs and more drugs to last for a while... i
found out that ...My dear.. Loving.. Protecting...
Brother... was sending them in there.. and they were paying
him... and he... was pimpin me out... What a great great
guy right... But yet... after finding that out... i havent
found it in my heart to be mad at him... because he is the
only one more fucked up then me... so i feel like... "At
least some one can eccept me"......

I have to go clean my
room and stuff before i go to my N.A meeting tonight.. And
October 3rd will be exactly 5 months sober!!