Ms.Misery

Abstract Soul
2005-09-22 07:47:39 (UTC)

forever

....what reason would there be to keep a memory alive when
all it really is, is a painful one? Happiness it once was,
but turned out to be the worst thing in your life. If
there was a possibility that you could experience
something in your life that would ultimatly be the best
thing that ever happened to you, eventually crippling you
in horrid horrid way, would you still choosa to endure it?
I have loved someone my entire life.
The very split second my eyes fell onto this soul, I was
physically placed onto a different level of infatuation. I
knew at that moment that I wouldn't or couldn't see myself
loving anyone other than he and it became inevitable. Not
only that, but it also became a hell.
This kind of love is the kind Shakespeare wrote about,
the kind Juliet felt. It is quite apparent that I am
Charles Dickinson's Fin. I have loved someone with the
whole of my heart and the deepest depths of my soul and
yet the object of my desire is unobtainable in every way.
Is this fate that I would love somebody that cannot love
me? Was I doomed from the very beginning? Was there some
force factored in my loving someone I would never possibly
grasp? Is this is test that I must partake in for the rest
of my life? And how do I succeed in it?
Had I known the second my soul attached itself to his
that my life would forever revolve around whether or not a
day would come that he'd love me and knowing somewhere
within that it wouldn't, would I still have pursued?
It is in my knowledge that humans do the unimaginable
when it comes to getting something that they really want,
however this something that I want, I'll never have. With
that said, who knows what I'll do or how long I'll live
waiting for my love to one day love me.
Would I trade my memories of him for future peace of
mind? Never. Would I give him everything that I possess?
In a heartbeat.
Will I ever surrender my love for him?
Cheesy as it is....only until I breathe no more.





Ad: