Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
2005-09-18 05:16:38 (UTC)

No surprise?

Well, I'm feeling depressed, angry, frustrated,
neglected ... Everything really. I haven't written in a
while, so naturally everything bottled up, and it's not
like I'm about to share my feelings with anyone, to watch
them fall with me.

I feel like a bird with a broken wing, that only time may
heal. But once it is healed, it could never be the same
again, I'll never fly like I used to, merely soar, with the
constant pain and scar.

I confronted Ravon, and she fucking lied to my face. She
cried and wailed, disgusting display in all honesty. She
screamed that she did indeed have a split personality,
fucking bullshit.

And then she went behind my back, telling everyone that the
fight was over me cutting? Yeah, she said she told me to
stop, and that I said, "It's my body! I'll do what I want!"

She practically fucking told me to slit my wrists. "Kade"
and I would go over thye lines every night, but oh-ho!
Ravon has no lines on her wrist, so SHE wasn't doing it
with me, just pretending to! Fucking fat bitch.

That's it Ravon, tell lies about me. Make me out to be the
bad guy, it'll be all you have left once I'm through with
you. If I fall, I'm dragging you to hell with me bitch.

She won't admit it, and I can honestly see why. Hmm choices
are, admit to having a compulsive lying disorder, and
admitting to have tried to kill her "best freind". Or
effortlessly trying to dodge under our radar by lying, and
cramming bullshit down our throats.

Condescending, how fucking stupid she thinks I am. I'm so
fucking pissed off, and frustrated.

I'm kind of mad at Nik too, and I really have no sole
reason to be. Just some pointless shit that I honestly
won't remember in thirty years, so it doesn't matter. I
don't know ... He's just being a dick, and I'm being a dick
about him being a dick.

Brennan's coming over tomorrow. He's biking frm his house,
the boy is insane.

God ... I miss you Kevin. I could really use you right
now. This is the part where you would just talk to me ...
Compare me to a soldier. "On your feet." Ha ... Love you
man. I miss you so much.

But I can't be selfish, I know you're in a better place
now. Ha, you beat me there. Someday ... Someday.




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