Becca

Becca
2005-09-17 20:39:02 (UTC)

Saturday 17th September

This is the life for me . . . no rushing, tiredness or
stress. Just pure relaxation and doing whatever I want. I
live for the weekend. And of course for dancing. Perhaps
the days are sometimes long and boring, perhaps I sometimes
feel unfulfilled and wasted. But really, when it comes to
the choice, this is want I want.

I love that song so much (Luther), I just hope I'm not
battering it so much that I soon go off it. It's so special
to me right now.

Who knows what the future holds? Where will I be in four
weeks? Four months? Four years? Forty years?

It's a strange thing to comtemplate.
Four weeks . . . nothing will have changed. I will still be
sitting here living as I am now. Apart from Saturday nights
will be filled with dancing once again.
Four months . . . I'd say just the same. Perhaps I will
have a job. Perhaps I will be happier. Perhaps I will have
found a real source of inspiration and excitement. I'll be
ready to enjoy Christmas. But nothing much will be
different.
Four years . . . I'll be almost 20. I'll be deciding what
to do with my life. I'll be proud of my achievements but at
the same time I'll be beginning to develop serious regrets.
Well, everybody makes mistakes, if you don't you're not
human. And you don't learn. If you're not constantly
changing, you're dead.
Forty years . . . I'll be nearing the end of my working
life. Nearing the end of my . . . life.

What will I have achieved in my life? What will I have to
be proud of? How will things go for me? Will I be satisfied
by what I have made of myself? How will I be remembered by
those who knew me?

I'll find the answers one day.




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