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2005-09-04 11:04:10 (UTC)

a game we all must play

uncle joe called me few days ago. i feel sorry for him. he's
a lonely and insecure person. although he's older than me by
15 years, he's not much more mature than me. reality has
always taken a toll on him, yet i know there are some things
he could not let go.

life's hard. i feel like Marlow in Heart of Darkness who
discovered horror one after another up until the point of
hysteria. especially when you're lonely. especially when you
think of yourself as unloveable.

work is piling up. i'm overwhelmed by the amount of things i
need to do this week. it's scary.

mark sent me one song this week. it did not impress me much
on the first hearing. but as i hear it again and again, i
fall in love with it. it's really a nice song, with simple
but nice guitar arrangement.

i bought a frying pan yesterday. feel quite happy after
having my retail therapy this week.

been thinking about nicholas lately. i wish i would end up
with him one day. the chance is slim. but if we don't, i
really hope both of us will find our own happiness. i will
be very happy if i know that he's happy in his life.

i will try to rise despite the circumstances. i will try to
love what i am doing now. i will try not to hate life now.

i want to be happy. at all cost.